- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I’m just disappointed. I’ve been under a lot of stress from this situation and just need to get it out..
As some of you who have read my other posts know, my Fiance is currently “no contact” with his parents and younger sister. Dad and younger sister are abusive, lack conscience, and just cruel.
His mother is an enabler. But I’m beginning to wonder about her and wonder if maybe she’s also a narcissist like them considering how completely and totally SELFISH she is.
He decided to go no contact when his older sister had left her abusive husband and she and her 3 daughters moved in with his parents and younger sister. They were so controlling and abusive (emotionally and verbally ) to the kids and his older sister. His younger sister who is 21 was the boss of everything. It was insane. We had to go out there on Christmas day last year to get them out.
Shortly after that any time my Fiance spoke to his mom (like when he had to do little things like get his sister off of their cell phone contract and put her on his) she just kept saying crap about his older sister. Saying that she is insane, ungrateful, and just making up these terrible things about her. He told her that if she thought he was going to betray his older sister, who is one of the most selfless and kindest people in the world, then she was DEAD wrong.
My Fiance was always kind of the black sheep to begin with. He was never praised for his (amazing, but yet I’m biased ;)) talents – and the few times that he was he was it still wasn’t even close to the amount that his older brother and younger sister were. When my boyfriend was 6 and he cracked his head open his parents debated for nearly an hour as to whether or not to take him to the hospital. When his younger sister “claimed” she was feeling nauseous they called an ambulance (she always has mysterious medical problems that can’t ever be diagnosed).
His main purpose for being around was to do work for his family. Even when I was there I was put to work. His older brother and younger sister? Oh, never. They would never be expected to do anything.
That Thanksgiving when his sister was still living there his mom made this big long speech about how WONDERFUL her husband (who she has multiple times said that she has considered MURDERING) and her youngest daughter are – and then how much she loves her son (my FI’s brother) and his wife. SHe completely forgot to mention his older sister and her kids and then her comment about us was “Oh well [my FI] it would be nice to see you more”. (My Fiance had been avoiding them more and more).
Did they ever once visit him? No. He lives 30min. away and they never saw where my Fiance lives. I’m surprised they even know the address. (Actually his mom had to ask for it a year after he moved in because she needed to mail him something). But they would visit his brother and younger sister who lived almost 5 hours away quite frequently!
Recently she called my Fiance because his brother was in the hospital and had his gallbladder removed. My Fiance called his brother to see how he was doing. She also said in the message that it would be nice to meet up sometime.
He said, “Okay we can meet on x day in x town (20-30min from her).” She texted him saying “I can’t do that day. I work.”
So my Fiance texted her back saying, “okay then what day does work for you?”
I’m just angry. I’m very protective and anybody who knows my Fiance knows that he is one of the sweetest, kindest, rational, and patient people. He doesn’t deserve this treatment. It breaks my heart.
The social worker he talked to about this whole situation along with his dad’s siblings (who pretty much hate their brother) always say its amazing my Fiance and his older sister ended up how they did.
Considering what a back-stabbing, selfish woman their mother is… it is pretty amazing. My mother says that she “feels for” his mom. I maybe would too if I really felt that she was the victim of an abusive man… but honestly I really wonder about her.
Am I wrong to? Sometimes she seems nice and like she cares about people, but if she can be like this to her OWN KIDS? I really don’t know.
I’m just SO upset and heartbroken for him. I’m sorry this was long.