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Hugs im going through this now with my side of the family just shrugg it off. Its your wedding not there and you are intitled to do whatever the heck you want for YOUR DAY!!!! Somtimes some people are just plain jelious.
If your mom is not the best option, I say YOU could say something to her. My suggestion is that you so it in a non-threatening way and with a smile the entire time. Make sure your tone is sweet too!
Aunt: Why are you doing it here? There's going to be so many problems.....
You: I'm so sorry you're not happy with my choices Aunt Paininmybutt, but I've drempt of this day and it's exactly what I want. (You could even go so far as to say - I really hope it won't be too ____ for you to not come, I'd love for you to be there" {Sweet Smile}
If she has other suggestions, shoot them down with the same type of excuses she's giving you. "What about this place?" "Oh, it's too _________" (insert: dark, smelly, big, small, cheap, expensive, etc.)
Best of luck. And keep telling yourself - This is MY day.
@Querida has some great suggestions.
I'm assuming this aunt is/has been married. If so, next time she gives a "suggestion", tell Aunt Paininthebutt that she's already planned her wedding and you want to plan your wedding your way.
I have a large number of aunts, and -as it turns out - all of them are outspoken and opinionated. With my family, I could say something smart like, "Wow - you'd better not go, then." At which, we'd all laugh, and they would immediately shut up and realize how ridiculous they are being.
It's inevitable. Your family - especially those of the female version - are going to want to vicariously live/relive their own dreams through you. Just take it as lightly as you can and answer them in that whimsical way that Querida suggested - you've been thinking about this your whole life, and now that it's becoming a reality, your dreams are starting to take shape into what you've really wanted. Tell her to just wait and see how amazing it will be in the end and how it fits YOU and YOUR day. Good luck!
If you can't shrug it off, ask your mom to talk to her. If that doesn't work, then talk to her yourself. Explain to her what you've just told us - that you're excited about the venue you've chosen, and you really want her to be there to celebrate with you. But her remarks are making you feel bad, which is the last way you should be feeling about your upcoming wedding, and you can't imagine 9 more months of feeling this way.
If someone said that to me, I would be so upset that I was raining on their parade I would cut out my attitude. If your family is close, I would hope that would be her reaction too.
I would say something to her directly. Being snarky about her niece's wedding is beyond immature and it's definintely something I would confront head-on. You deserve to be excited about your wedding and not dreading everyone's input!
I feel like this could've been written about my aunt. The first time she met my SO, she threatened him. She's still really rude to him whenever he's around. She and my other aunt and my grandmother sit around and complain about things that might never happen. She and my mom got into it a couple weeks ago because the aunt said she wouldn't let SO and I get married in his hometown (13 hours away). Um, LET us? We're adults and not your kids, we don't need permission! lol, we're not even engaged yet! lol, and who knows where we'll get married!! That's so far away!
I just try not to pay much attention to it. I internally groan and do an about-face when I find myself in those situations. I can usually find someone who is a bit more optimistic.
Hopefully ignoring her (maybe she's just jealous of the attention you're getting because of the upcoming wedding) will do the trick. Good luck! :) Just remember in the end, it'll be the perfect day for you and your FI.
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Anyone have advice on how to deal with family members (other than both sets of parents) who disapprove of the way your wedding is turning out?
I'm having a lot of trouble with a gossiping family. My mom's sister, most specifically, who doesn't approve of the fact that we're having the wedding at my family's summer cottage. She complains about everything from the weather, to the amount of space, to dust (say it with me... ridiculous, eh?). We're very close, but my family tends to not approach issues head on, so I'm a little scared about how she'll react if I ask her kindly to stop making these kinds of comments (she's very stubborn and full of pride). And I obviously can't just not invite her, but I also don't can't deal with the stress this is causing and I don't want to have my special day ruined because she's complaining all day long.
I realize, ideally, that I should just shrug this off and ignore her, but she's important to me... I just don't want to deal with this for the next 9 months...