OMG, agree. So very, very much agree. I just had this rant with my mother the other day. People ALWAYS go on about bridezillas, but THEY TURN US INTO THEM.
A bride has a million decisions to make. It’s decision overload. Our sweet, well-meaning, oblivious fiance’s want us to have the wedding of our dreams (and also not have to listen to one more thing about colors, flowers, or food), so they leave all the decisions to us. I was in a floral meeting a week ago, and here was how it went:
Florist: So, let’s hang something in the trees. Lanterns?
Me: Sounds lovely!
Florist: Or you could do ornamental hangings with flower petals.
Me: Ooh, I like that idea.
Florist: Ok, jar shaped, or more ball-like?
Florist: And what kind of flowers?
Florist: White? Purple?
Me: Can I do both?
Florist: Of course! Alternate some with purple and some with white, or purple and white in both?
And that’s ONE tiny detail. I look to my mother and she shrugs and says, “Whatever you like.” And that’s how it is on so much! And yet then you make a decision, and someone will raise an eyebrow! “Oh, you want ALL purple?” in that judgmental tone! You’re expected to make all the decisions, AND please exactly EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE HUNDRED PEOPLE who think they get to have opinions! And then even the sweetest FI will say something like, “Relax, it’s only a wedding!” Yes, YES it is only a wedding, will you please tell that to your mother who is sobbing because I picked the wrong floral arrangement?! Then you blow up and the dreaded bridezilla word comes out.
I love wedding planning, and I have been incredibly fortunate with a lot of things – an amazing group of bridesmaids, the world’s sweetest and most enthusiastic wedding planner, a photographer I adore – but some days I just want to pull my hair out and climb under the covers and pretend we’re eloping in some exotic destination where no one will judge me for anything! Even with a wedding planner to help with the stress, the decisions are ultimately up to me and me alone, and no one understands the kind of pressure that’s on a bride to make the day amazing for every guest while also undergoing a rather radical moment in life! I wish someone would sit our grooms down and explain that sometimes they need to make decisions because we can’t make one more without our heads exploding…and that the word Bridezilla should only be used in the most extreme cases. We’re crazy because everyone is making us crazy!!!