Post # 1
So it was my and my mother’s understanding that the Groom’s family would pay for the bar and bartenders at our upcoming wedding in July — there was a list made of “who pays for what” months ago and it was agreed that the list was reasonable.
I recently found out that this was huge misunderstanding and miscommunication — as the MOG was under the impression that she was only providing bartenders and alcohol for the rehearsal dinner. Apparently there were conversations between my mom and the MOG that they would share teh responsiblity of the alchol and bartenders on teh day of the wedding. My mom does not recall this conversation.
My mom also thinks that this is not her place to discuss with the MOG (she thinks the Groom should handle it and then will step in if the MOG decides she doesnt want to pay for the bar the dayof the wedding) …when I think that one simple phone call to the MOG to clear this up and determine who will pay for what.
I’ve read that the bride should not discuss these financial details with the MOG because it coudl dampen relations prior to the wedding — and I find myself in a very uncomfy situation becasue I do not want to offend my Future Mother-In-Law or my mother.
What would you do!?!?!? Thanks 🙂
Post # 3
I seriously hate having discussions about who is paying for what. Even if it is just reminding a friend to pay me back for a concert ticket or something. In this case, I would let the MOG pay half, like she wants to, and cover the rest myself.
Post # 4
I think that you should have your Fiance call and talk to her. Since it is his mother, he can help to get things figured out for you.
Post # 5
Have your Fiance talk to his mother and ask what the plan is. If she is willing to pay for half the bar and your mother isn’t, then maybe you guess could pay out of pocket for the other half or go with a mostly cash bar.
At our wedding we are providing a keg, champagne, lemonade, coffee, water, and some table wine (plus drinks for the bridal party). Anything beyond that is a cash bar (including soda unfortunately). It cost us around $600.
Post # 6
I would not put your mom in the position of calling MOG to figure this out. That’s just kind of awkward for everyone. I would have your Fiance handle it.
Post # 7
Have Fiance take care of this.
Post # 8
I agree, have your Fiance call. If not, there are cheaper alternatives to having a free bar that can be options for you, so that you aren’t spending $1000 on alcohol!
Post # 9
I would have your Fiance figure this out. It may not be the best for your mother to call her, you want them to have a good relationship.
Post # 10
Thanks for all your comments! I know this is good “practice” to discuss controversial things with your future family — but SHEESH. Really appreciate your help! Thanks 🙂
Post # 11
argh, I am NOT looking forward to those conversations AT ALL.