Post # 1
One of my close friends recently slept with her fiancé for the first time. She discussed it with our other friend and myself when we were hanging out last week. It turns out that our other friend told her boyfriend. Her boyfriend ran into my friend’s fiancé and brought it up and I think sort of joked about it. My friend got pretty mad about her telling him about it and they had a small argument. My friend was shocked that she would have discussed it with her boyfriend. They are over it now. I personally don’t discuss things like this with my boyfriend because he just doesn’t care. I do think its kind of weird that our other friend discussed it with her boyfriend. I also think its weird that her boyfriend brought it up to my friend’s fiancé.
Do you discuss sex with friends? Do you tell your SO about it? Should such conversations stay private?
Post # 2
Sometimes my friends and I will discuss vague sex details but never anything graphic, and it’s not something I will specifically ask about. I wouldn’t tell FI about that kind of girl talk. Dudes will interpret it differently than the girls will.
Post # 3
I talk to a few ladies i met through the bee about that type of stuff, a whole lot less awkward when it’s not face to face.
Post # 4
I’ll talk about sex in general with girlfriends, but I don’t go into details. Example:
Yes – “Yeah I like to do xyz.”
No – “DH and I did xyz and abc last night. Then he did this and this and we’re going to try this next time.”
Nothing too personal. My husband and I don’t talk about intimate details of our relationship to other people. Whether it’s about an argument, sex, or money etc. It’s really nobody else’s business.
Post # 5
Kacey23: I’ve only ever talked sex with my BFF. Anything she tells me is stictly in confidence. I don’t even tell my husband what we’ve talked about, unless I know my BFF is ok with it. While for most things couples shouldn’t have secrets, “girl talk” is an exception.
I think your other friend was in the wrong – she should have known that talking about sex was private information. That said, it only went as far as her bf, so no huge damage done.
I don’t see why it’s weird that the guys talked about it. Why can’t they?
Post # 6
I had no idea that people DIDN’T talk to their friends about sex!
This is probably one of the top five conversation topics with my girlfriends. We talk about everything. We know what each friend prides herself on, and what she wants but can’t get. This is the best part of brunch!
My life long-bff and I don’t go in to such graphic detail… but that’s probably because I’m married to her brother. We still discuss though.
Post # 7
I talk in general terms, never really specifics. It’s not like I don’t want people knowing, it’s just not a topic I’m comfortable sharing specifics about.
I don’t really talk about sex things that my friends tell me with my FI, unless it’s really surprising to me. Like a friend of mine was discussing how her husband and her were considering “swinging.” I talked about that with my FI because I was so shocked by the whole thing
Post # 8
Sex is a conversation that stays between me and my husband. Since most of my friends are guys I think most people would find me discussing my sex life with them inappropriate. The closest I’ve ever gotten is telling a friend my bra size and he only asked because I was complaining about how difficult bra shopping is for me and he wanted to compare it to his girlfriend’s size.
Post # 9
My friends and I have talked vague sex details but really no specifics…only exes (theirs) if we have. As the only person I have slept with is my husband sometimes I have questions and thoughts (not about him but about sex in general) that I like to ask and ponder.
I would never discuss my sex life in detail, that is private.
Post # 10
If you are a married woman or married man discussing sex with a married person you can discuss sex, imo.
Post # 11
I don’t talk about my own intimate times with my friends at all. I am too private for that. If they want to share with me, I don’t care. I don’t need to know any of it…but I don’t care. I realize not everybody likes to keep things to themselves.
Post # 12
Kacey23: To your first question – with some friends, yes we talk about sex. As for telling DH, it depends. BUT I know that if I did tell him, he wouldn’t say anything to the SO of my friend. If one of DH’s friends wives told me something chances are I wouldn’t tell DH.
All that said, I generally assume that if I tell a friend something, chances are her SO will also find out.
Post # 13
My girlfriends and I will occasionally talk about sex. But those conversations are not repeated to my H. It’s really not cool to blab information about your friends’ sex lives to your SO.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t discuss sex in detail with my friends but, in vague terms I sometimes do. If something is particularly interesting, I may tell my husband but, I don’t tell him every intimate detail of my friends’ lives.
I think the main issue is that your friends boyfriend should’ve kept his mouth shut. Sometimes we tell our partners things that should be kept secret. I don’t think your friend was wrong for discussing it with her BF.
Post # 15
Kacey23: I think that unless it is expressly agreed beforehand that something is a secret, then you should always assume that the SO is going to find out. However, if the SO hears about something, they should keep their mouth shut about it after. I work in a lab with three other people (1 male, 2 female) and we discuss everything (sometimes in quite a bit of detail). I don’t usually tell my FI unless something is particularly interesting. The people I work with are not very secretive anyway.