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Discussing your bachelor/bachelorette parties with each other?

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you discuss your bachelor/bachelorette parties with each other?
    Yes, we knew exactly what each other's parties would be like and what happened : (32 votes)
    82 %
    No, we kept each other's parties private and didn't know anything about it : (0 votes)
    Other (please explain) : (7 votes)
    18 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    liartist    June 30, 2012   new york

    Having disagreements with FI about this. So....did you or will you and your FI discuss your plans for your respective parties?

     
    2.
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee
    JenniferMm    October 7, 2012  

    What about knowing a general idea? I am sure some things will change but overall I will have a general idea of what is going to go down.

     
    3.
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    982 posts
    Busy bee
    GeekChic    June 2012   Ontario, Canada

    We have a general idea of what each other are doing. The only rules I gave my FI's groomsmen who are planning it is that I didn't want FI getting arrested or having any visible scars....haha.

     
    3.
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    732 posts
    Busy bee
    FutureMrsRugbee    January 14, 2012   Montreal, Quebec

    Both of our bachelor/ette parties were surprises so we didn't know their content before-hand but we both had ideas of what we wanted out of the evening & communicated it with eachother (& our friends). Afterward we told eachother about our days... they were pretty much what we each expected.

    We were on the same page the whole time & we're both pretty open with one another about everything so it would have been pretty difficult for both of us to keep our evenings a secret.

    Honestly, what is there to keep secret?: If one really doesn't want the other to know what they're up to, it's either cause 1-they'd object to it or 2- there are communication problems in the relationship already. Either way, you're going to want to sort that out... 

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    Jacqui90    May 14, 2016   Brisbane

    i have already spoken to him about this briefly, no strippers for either of us. and i have spoken to his best men about it too, saying they can not take him to a strip club, my FI doesn't like strippers anyway.

    He already knows what I will probably be doing - spa day then a few drinks at home or out

     
    5.
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    5,733 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    We'll be discussing it for sure.  *shrug*  I don't see it as a huge deal.  We're not secretive, but at the same time, no one's going to be asking for a play-by-play of the other person's evening, you know?

     
    6.
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    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    KansasCityBride    June 15, 2010  

    We've shared general information, but as JenniferMm said, things can always change.  My FI and his friends are going to Vegas (yikes!), so of course I was interested to see what the plans were!  Are there certain things you're particularly concerned about?  If so, I would ask him!  Just aim to be more casual and conversational about it (versus confrontational)...it might help to open him up a bit.  Good luck! :) 

     
    7.
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    liartist    June 30, 2012   new york

    I brought this up because FI and his best man started tossing ideas around recently, so I asked him what they were talking about. He didn't want to tell me, not because he'll be doing something bad, but because he feels it's his bachelor party and he wants this to be able to be "his" thing and the "one thing" that he owns. Of course I got upset because I have no problem sharing my plans and to me it's worse not knowing and my mind will start racing, even if it's innocent. I don't need a play by play, but a general idea, like just having a conversation. 

     
    8.
    Member
    1,298 posts
    Bumble bee
    PuntaCanaBride    March 30, 2012  

    Both of ours are going to be a surprise, so we haven't been able to discuss anything.

     
    9.
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    1,527 posts
    Bumble bee
    kerensa    May 20, 2013   Ohio

    We would discuss it, but not with a sense that the other person needs to approve or be involved in the party, just in the sense of being curious what the other person is up to.

     
    10.
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    zomgwut    July 28, 2013  

    We'll probably know what the other is up to but it's not like we're going to control what the other does or doesn't do.  I don't care if he goes to a strip club or anything like that and knowing my MOH, we'll probably end up doing something ridiculous and fabulous.  We're pretty laid back and have no trust issues so it's just a fun time with friends.

     

     
    11.
    Member
    4,138 posts
    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    Both of ours were somewhat of a surprise so there was nothing to discuss beforehand.  After the parties we laughed about what happened.  I went for dinner and a girl's night out in NYC.  He went to a casino.

    There was nothing to hide really.  Aside from the penis straws/penis cake and such, it wasn't too different from what we might do for a friend's birthday or something.

     
    12.
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    8,926 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    We discussed what the plans were beforehand and then shared stories and funny comments / happenings afterwards.  It would be weird for me NOT to share that information with my husband.

     
    13.
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    2,123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Bichon Frise    June 2012   NC

    He knows what I'll be doing, and I'm sure he'll tell me what he'll be doing (his groomsmen haven't planned a party for him yet). We are very open with each other and have a natural curiosity about what the other person does.

     
    14.
    Member
    1,978 posts
    Buzzing bee
    heather5743    March 10, 2012  

    We both pretty much knew the jist of each others, but we're boring so we knew it wouldn't be too out there.  lol

    We both just had ours and shared everything.

     
    15.
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    68 posts
    Worker bee
    nataliegrace90    August 4, 2012   Sandpoint, ID

    We have just discussed it. I gave FI just one guideline: that he not do anything potentially dangerous (skydiving, rock climbing, hanggliding etc.) FI has had head injuries before so another one would cause severe emotional problems and possibly slight mental retardation. While these probably would be temporary,  that is the last thing I want FI dealing with as we get married. The other guideline was implied: no sleeping with anybody else (duh, any guy who thinks sleeping with a girl who's not his fiance is fine has serious problems and should not be getting married)

    He knows I'm pretty low-key and wouldn't have a wild bachelorette party so he didn't really have any guidelines.

     

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