- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
To start, I’m a long-time poster going anon and I know we’ve all seen & dismissed countless threads about the bachelor party, strippers, lap dances, etc. I never, ever thought I’d be in this situation. I never thought I’d be THAT girl.
So, FI and the boys went to Vegas last week. I was very clear with him from the beginning. I’m NOT okay with touching. I even emailed him the Arrested Development meme to that effect (more than once). I didn’t say anything about whether he could get a lap dance or not, but I didn’t think I had to–I figured me constantly saying “no touching” and “you can look, but don’t touch” was enough to get my point across. I thought he would respect that (and our relationship).
He told me today that they went to 2 different strip clubs and he had 2 private/VIP lap dances. He said that “no lines were crossed,” but I know for certain that some touching occurred–though I’m not sure of the specifics. He has been very vague with the details, and part of me is terrified to ask any more questions. But, to me, any touching is definitely crossing the boundary I drew. I really wish I never even asked in the first place because now I can’t stop picturing it–and of course, I am picturing the worst.
I was unclear on strip club policies, my understanding was that most [reputable] strip clubs had very strict “no touching” policies. What I’ve found out tonight (from reading various reviews) is that these specific clubs definitely allow touching anywhere except her crotch during the private/VIP dances, so boobs are definitely a go. And, of course, she can touch him wherever he allows. Gross.
I’m hurt and disgusted by the thought of some naked chick rubbing up on him, putting her boobs in his face, and him being allowed to touch her. I’m trying really hard to be rational about this, and I keep reminding myself that he came home to me and is marrying me. But the other part of me knows that he’d flip his shit if I had some naked guy rubbing his junk in my face. Of course, I would never do that because male strippers disgust me. I really don’t understand why there’s a double standard or why getting married is suddenly an excuse to touch another naked girl.
I’m also very put off by the fact that he came home and immediately wanted to be intimate. It makes me feel like they had him all riled up and he had to come home and get his rocks off. I don’t feel like it was me that turned him on, but them. Had I known all of this at the time, I assure you I would not have been in the mood. Ick. =//