Dissapointed I haven't been invited to some friends' weddings

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

When was the last time you spent time with these people? 

Ive got lots of childhood family friends, some my parents are still in touch with but I’m not inviting them to the wedding nor was I invited to theirs. It’s totally understandable as we have no present day relationship. 

Post # 4
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

People move on, they have lives. Sorry that they haven’t kept it touch as well as you’d like, but it sounds like these relationships have more meaning to you then they do to them.

Post # 5
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If you miss being in their life, you could have reached out to them at any point to hang out prior to the wedding. People aren’t likely to invite people they havent heard from in years. 

Post # 6
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It sucks when you think you’re better friends with people and it turns out to be otherwise. Were any of your other mutual friends ever invited to these weddings?

Post # 7
5763 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you miss these folks, throw a dinner party and invite them over. There are a thousand reasons why you might not find yourself on a wedding guest list, and absolutely no reason you can’t invite old friends over to dinner.

Post # 8
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

You’ve gotten in touch recently or have you tried to stay in touch for a long time? I know a lot of people who I was childhood friends that have gotten married and I wasn’t invited. It never bothered me. The most we are now is Facebook friends.

If you want to resume relationships you have to work at it. You can’t just expect friendships to be maintained with no effort.

Post # 9
4634 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If they’re friends from your childhood and you haven’t seen them since, its  no wonder you weren’t invited. Their weddings are about you getting to sit and chat to old friends, they’re about them getting married.

If you long to see them so badly, call them up and make plans. Friendships don’t just last forever, they require hard work on both sides to last throughout your life.

Post # 10
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015


charles.john.theman:  It sounds like you have reached out but in their defense they make think you are super busy even though you mentioned meeting up. You live on your own and are working and going to grad school so if I was friends with you I would expect you to be super busy. Some people just suck at getting the hints too so maybe a more direct approach of asking them to hang out on whatever day will work.

Post # 11
127 posts
Blushing bee

charles.john.theman:  I’m battling where to draw the line for inviting people to our wedding and have several families that are like this.  We were all extremely close growing up, but the past 5 years we have all gone our separate ways.  They were not originally on my list, but when my mom had asked why I didn’t invite them, I gave her my answer.  You also have to think that maybe they had a specific budget and although it may not seem like a lot to invite you, your parents and possibly siblings if you have any, and a guest for you, but it does add up. Yeah the invitation may only be $5 and food is $15.  But think about the extra chairs, drinks, space etc.  They probably didn’t do it specifically to you

Post # 12
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I didnt invite any of my childhood friends to my wedding…..haven’t talked to any of them in 2-3 years let alone seen some of them in alost 5….they never reached out to me, I never reached out to them. Sometimes friendships drive apart due to school, where people are located and living etc. Why would I invite people I havent talked to in  years to celebrate my relationship with someone that most of them have never even met? After we got engaged, I actually got facebook mesaages from some of these people congratulating me and all of a sudden wanting to hang out and catch up. It was clear that they wanted to be back in my life and come to my wedding…..but if they really wanted to be in my lives we would have deicded to catch up PRIOR to a major life event happening…..

Post # 13
906 posts
Busy bee

I totally feel you. A few of my friends got married and I wasn’t invited to my friends weddings. One friend told me she was going to invite me to her wedding but never did. That sucked but according to my other friend who attended her wedding she told me she had a small one ie 100 to 150 people and had a big family so yes I was dissipointed but I totally understand that she had to downsize her guestlist. Friend 2 although she didn’t say she would invite me to her wedding, I thought me and her were very good friends. We would go to the bagel shop together a lot as well as another mutul friend and we would text eachother and I met up with her once since we got engaged. We moved away from this friend in 2011 and met up with her during my visit in 2012. I wasn’t invited to her wedding and I was dissipointed since according to her pictures she seem to have a big wedding but I learned that she possibly had to cut her guestlist and I understood if I had to be cut off her list. another reason why I understood was because I never met her then fi now husband and the wedding should have been about her and her husband joining two families into one and it was possible that they may have only invited mutul friends. Just try and see what the other person was thinking. 

Post # 14
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church


Unfortunately they do not think of you as a good a friend as you do. It happens, it hurts and it does suck. I totally understand where you are coming from and you just wanted to vent. I have been there before but you need to let it go otherwise it will eat you up.

Post # 15
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


charles.john.theman:  I love NOT being invited to weddings…… i have been to a few weddings over the past few years where I rarely if ever saw the bride and groom again (different paths, children, some move away)…. I have become a lot more selective now of weddings I attend because I am tired of celebrating events with people that I never see again……… weddings are expensive and require a time commitment….

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