(Closed) Dissapointed with people's reaction to your dress!?

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m glad you found a dress, sorry you’ve had to deal with everyone else’s opinions!

I was engaged several years ago (never married) but I did go dress shopping. I bought a dress when I was alone, and my mother told me it was horrendous. Of couse, I decided she might be right since I did buy it by myself….maybe I needed some help….So I returned it. Then my mom took me shopping. Everything I loved, she hated. Everything she liked was super traditional and not exactly flattering. After that trip, I was really disheartened. 

On our second trip, I found an absolutely beautiful gown that was flattering but simpler than some she wanted me to get….I ended up getting it. The only person who thought it was amazing on me was my grandma. So even though I was even more pleased with my second dress, yes…everyone’s lack of enthusiasm brought me down. 

This time around, I have decided not to care about their opinions. Mom’s been less than enthusiastic [again]. But I realized that she doesn’t really *know* me like she thinks she does. I’m going to be buying mine alone, not showing it to everyone, just my mom and bestie. The less opinions I get, the less I’ll worry. 🙂

Post # 2
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have very different taste than my family so I knew they wouldn’t like what I liked. It’s never good to hear that something you love is just blah to someone else, but I wouldn’t let that get you down. You love it and it will show when you’re wearing it.

They’ll see how you glow and your radiant smile and they won’t even care that they don’t like something about the dress you chose.

Post # 4
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper

I bought a bunch of dresses online to try on and then picked the ones I wanted myself. Before I returned the ones that didn’t work, I had a Say Yes to the Dress party at home where I modeled all the dresses. I told my friends ahead of time which dresses were the ones I picked, so they knew to be excited about the dresses. They did also give some suggestions to make them look even better with accessories and styling and stuff.

Post # 5
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon

MeandMyLouboutins:  Kind of.  I know it wasn’t my mom’s favorite from when we were shopping. And she has mentioned a couple of times now how often she sees brides right now wearing something similar (fitted lace, sideswept hair).  That’s certainly not wonderful to hear.

What really frustrates me though is actually her commentary on my undergarments.  I bought a Rago girdle thing and a longline bra.  She refuses to call them anything other than “granny underwear” and my explanations that foundation pieces make it or break it fall on deaf ears. 

But, I know I’m right and that the pieces really do make me look better, so I am doing my best to ignore her.  And I will do my best to ignore her on my wedding day when she is helping me get dressed and makes her repetative, annoying jokes. 

Post # 6
Member
884 posts
Busy bee

I realized early on I had very different taste than my mom and bridesmaids and MIL. I am a 3 dress bride…sigh.

So first time I bought a dress that my mother loved. I actually hated it. HATED it. It was only $99 so not a big deal (sample sale). It was a big lace ballgown. I was caught up in how much my mom loved the dress and the price. THe momement I got it home it made me sick. No one I showed had much to say about it either. My MIL was there when I bought it and was very underwhelmed. SHe liked kinda a tacky and cheap dress.  Luckly I sold this dress for $500! <br /><br />THe next dress I bought when I was by myself. It was a very simple lux taffeta Aline dress. Very simple. I really like it, but it just wasnt what I thought I would wear on my wedding day. My MOH and bridesmaids thought it was nice, but no one seemed enthusiastic. Its hanging in my closet.

Just VERY recently I decided to buy the dress I had been thinking about for ever. Way more expesive than the other dresses and its blush. My groom was set on me wearing white, but I finally realized I dont care. I dont care what he or my mom or my maids think. I wanted to wear a blush gown all along. Ive felt like I was wearing a white costume everytime I tried on a wedding dress. This blush dress is for me! I am not even showing other people. They will all be suprised. Its MY secret !

Post # 7
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My mom hates my dress and not all of my bridesmaids are super enthusiastic about my dress choice. Everyone liked dresses that fit their own style, not mine, so I didn’t care too much about their opinion, lol.

Post # 8
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I brought my mom and dad with me to my final fitting so my mom could help with the bustle. I walked out of the dressing room and neither said a word. I expected a few tears or a gasp or something since my dad hadn’t seen me in wedding dresses before and my mom had never seen that dress. I swear my parents aren’t assholes or anything,  they just weren’t wowed, and had pretty much confirmed what I already suspected; I had picked the wrong dress…AGAIN! My fears were further justified when the girl in the room next to me walked out in obe of my runner-up dresses and my mom gasped and said “OMG! You look beautiful!”…to her.

It could have been because the silhouette – modified A-line – didn’t do me any justice.  Or because the champagne color was just not what they were expecting.  So I decided to start over and get a dress that would make everyone cry. My new dress is absolutely perfect!!  I didn’t tell anyone I swiched my dress, but boy, won’t they be surprised when I walk down the aisle! 

Post # 10
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

The only person I shopped with was my mum, and she was delighted when she saw my face light up when I tried on the dress we bought. It wasn’t her style, but she knew that styles change and that daughters don’t always have the same taste as their mothers. No one else saw the dress before the wedding – NO ONE. And since no one would dare criticize a bride’s dress at her wedding, I never heard one negative opinion on my dress. 

I view it kind of like baby names. Before a baby is born, people feel free to say horrible things about a couple’s choice of names. But if people are told the baby’s name after s/he is born, they never say a word. So the solution is simply not to show people, or to take ONE person shopping with you whose advice you value and then have your dress be a surprise to everyone else.

Post # 11
Member
28 posts
Newbee

The people who have actually seen my dress (of which there aren’t many; two of four of my bridesmaids and my mum – my MOH hasn’t even seen it yet because she lives five hours away and hasn’t been able to take time off work for my fittings) have responded very positively to it. BUT… I think this is because most of them have only ever seen me in that dress.

I saw my gown at an expo and knew I wanted it. My mum and I travelled to the shop, I tried it on and it was everything I wanted.

I did have an earlier appointment with one of my bridesmaids, but tried on gowns with the same silhouette that had quite a few similarities to the one I eventually chose.

If it truly bothers you, I think their reactions will be massively different on the actual day. Although they’ve seen the dress, they haven’t seen you as a bride. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

When I showed my mom a picture of the dress I really liked there was silence for like 3 minutes and then she just said, “well…. it’s…. nice.”. Not an ideal reaction. Ultimately, I made the decision myself based on pictures of me in dresses and feel so much better about it since I know the only person I can blame if I have dress regret is myself (and I’m glad that I didn’t make my dress decision for the benefit of anyone else). That said, I also feel as if lots of people have trouble visualizing what a dress in your size will look like since the samples are always either awkwardly large or small. There was one dress that everyone was encouraging me to buy, but then I realized that the only reason why it looked better in the photos was that it fit me like a glove whereas all the others are either pinned or not zipped. 

Post # 13
Member
829 posts
Busy bee

I won’t lie, my mother told me “ok… that’s nice” and I’ve pretty much cut her out of every piece of my wedding planning after that. Those words really gave me a complex and eventho I love the dress, now I’m not showing anyone else.

Post # 14
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I could tell people weren’t super thrilled with my dress choice when I showed them the original photos but it turns out they were just wrong because they loved it once it was all altered and in the professional shots.

Post # 15
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

MeandMyLouboutins:  I knew what I wanted from an online pic. It was on clearance and I called, had them pull it, and picked it up. I didn’t take anyone with me. I didn’t care what they thought. My sister saw the pic online and made a comment about my butt being big already and I wanted a dress with petals on the butt. It was funny to me. I love my big butt, but the dress is very full at the bottom, so it won’t be seen anyhow. My dress is pink. I’ve shown a few people pics and they have only said nice things. I really don’t care how they feel. I love, love, love it. 

I know from tv that picking your dress can be very stressful and the people that you bring are often brutal in their opinion. I’m sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing though…unless you like to keep the peace and please others (nothing wrong with that- just a different personality type). If you are, then this dress thing will likely keep worrying you. 

Lets see the dress!

 

Here is a lady wearing mine…

http://www.stylemepretty.com/destination-weddings/2014/07/16/cultural-destination-wedding-in-tulum-mexico-at-las-ranitas/

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