Post # 1
I have been debating on weither or not I should write this but I need to get it off my chest and maybe some of you have some advise, I feel too guilty to talk to my family, friends of fiancee about this since the reason I am dissappointed is because I made concessions so they would be happy. I find myself fixating on the things that I had initially imagined and trying to force what I do have to be more like what I wanted which I know in my head will cost more money than I have to spend . (I had imagined small woodland/enchanted forest themed outdoor wedding on my parents farm. I am getting a large wedding in a small unfamiliar church with the reception in dark windowless banquet hall on a busy street) It dosen’t help that alot of the decorating ideas I have my fiancee hates and that my mother keeps saying that the cake design I chose is ugly.I know at the end of the day that as long as I am married to the man I love none of the other stuff matters. It is just a moment in time after all, So I switched around the theme of the day and am dealing with that. But I still find myself being dissappointed and at times irritated with the location, and fearful oF the number of people (large groups make me very uncomfortable and being in front of large groups has a tendancy to make me sick to my stomach and at times I vomit) Has anyone else delt with dissappointment? Any advise would be awesome!
Post # 3
Why did you decide against your original plan? I think that is likely the source of the disappointment.
Post # 4
I agreed to have it in a church because it was very important to my fiance who is catholic that he be in a catholic church. The guest list size got out of control due to the sheer size of my family. There are over 80 people on my mothers side alone and my fathers side is equally big and fiance’s family is not small either. When I mentioned not inviting all of the family I was made to feel as if not inviting everyone would be a kin to murdering someone and since my parents are paying for this craziness I couldn’t say no.Now both my mother and fiancee’s mom have invited their “closest” friends which added a good 30 people so total now is about 234 people even though I have cut all of my friends except the 2 in my bridal party. That number was to big for my parents farm hence dark reception hall.
Post # 5
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t have any advice for you, except to say: it’s not too late to change it. If you’re this unhappy with it now, do you think you’ll come around by October? It sounds like your parents took over…which is fine if you didn’t care much about how the day came out, but you appeared to have a dream that was crushed.
So maybe this is crazy but this is what I got: could you have a smaller, informal ceremony – simple, woodsy, etheral like you wanted – with your friends/smaller guest sometime BEFORE the big wedding? It doesn’t have to be the formal ceremony if your fiance wants to get married in a church, but just a commitment ceremony or something. Then you get the intimate natural occasion and have a time you commit to him without 200 people watching. Could something like that work?