- 3 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Here’s a quick and dirty recap of the background. FI and I started wedding planning under the assumption that we’d be paying for everything, so we were very budget conscious. Like “taco bell party platter” budget conscious. My parents, who are pretty well off, decided they wanted to pay for the wedding. Huge shock and high fives by all. FI’s parents, who are also pretty well off, said they want to pay for the rehersal dinner. That’s when things got uncomfortable. All of a sudden my dad felt taken advantage of because his parents didn’t want to contribute more. I told my dad WE’D be happy to contribute for whatever he’d like them to pay for, but he feels like they should cover the cost of alcohol because that’s how it’s done where we’re from. Ok, not much I can do about that except offer to pay for it myself, but that didn’t really satisfy him. Now we’re getting into the guest list and FI’s family sent a long list including some 20 people FI’s never met. I know my dad will be ticked off that they’re asking to invite these people FI doesn’t know without an offer to pay for them. FI doesn’t want to invite the strangers to the wedding and feels just fine telling his parents he wants to limit the guest list.
But here’s my concern – part of the reason my parents wanted to pay for the wedding in the first place is so they can invite some of their friends to a nice (non taco-bell) wedding. I can’t possibly tell the source of the $$ that they can’t invite their friends, nor would I want to, but at the same time I can see FI’s family feeling miffed that my parents got to invite their buddies and they didn’t. And they’re paying for the rehersal dinner. Which will be pretty small and, if I had my way, very cheap and casual.
This is my first-world problem. So, is it rude to allocate an unequal proportion of invites based on financial contribution?