Weddingbee boards

I need some legal advise Bees...

My parents have been separated for like 15 years. My dad liked the bottle a little too much and in turn kind of destroyed our family. No biggie! *sense the sarcasm*

So anyways, my mom moved us from our house just outside NYC to Upstate, NY where the rest of our family lives. She has been trying to get him to sign the divorce papers for years but he's always refused. He's a real class act.

My parents have an annuity together that requires both of their signatures to withdraw from. My father decided that he wanted to retire so he wants to access this money. My mother told him that she would be happy to sign the papers to withdraw the money but that he had to sign the divorce papers first. He REALLY wants this money so we thought that he would follow through with his side of the deal by simply signing the divorce papers and sending them back but that doesn't appear to be the case. My mother is also legally entitled to half of the annuity which she needs to make sure she gets. My father never paid a PENNY of child support so if you ask me, my mother should get the entire thing. If it comes down to them going to court to fight over it, I am more than ready to talk to whoever I need to, to help my moms case. 

I feel like there has to be some kind of loophole that would consider them divorced though my mom doesn't seem to think there is. She's consulted with an attorney who seems like a total flake and is not very helpful. 

My parents have been separated for about 15 years and lead two totally different lives. They no longer own anything jointly and their only child (me) is an adult. Is there anything that my mom can do to get the ball rolling on this? Both she and I really want this whole ordeal to be over with so that we can move on with our lives.

Divorce is a very state-specific thing, and can also be very complicated (especially in unusual situations like yours). I really think this is important enough she should go see another attorney. If she didn't like the first one, go to a different one. At least to find out what her rights are. 

Honestly, I dont know why he hasn't signed. I think its just to hurt my mom. Neither party is overly wealthy so its certainly not a money thing. I'll also add that my mom hasn't been REALLY trying to get the papers signed this entire time (like she'll go a few years without even bringing it up). She is content with her life and prefers to not even think about him though, she would much prefer that the divorce was final.  

I really think he's just a jerk and is trying to control her. My mom has been in a fantastic relationship with my "dad" (her boyfriend who is more of a father to me than the biological one ever was) for more than 10 years and she would really like to be not legally married to this other man anymore. 

The attorney that she hired sent what we are assuming was a subpoena to my fathers house months ago. A few days after it was sent out, my father called me. He only calls when he wants to get in touch with my mother because he doesnt have her phone number. I made the mistake of giving him mine. I dont answer when he calls since its not like he's calling to see how his only child is doing or anything, he just wants his money. He was told that all communication needs to go through the attorney. That subpoena being sent to him was the last correspondence that either my mother or the attorney has had with him.

Side note for comic relief: My father is almost 60 years old and still lives with my grandmother. The only time in his life that he didn't live with his parents were for the 15 or so years that my parents were dating and married. He also doesn't work yet decided that he wants to RETIRE. My mother almost fell on the floor laughing when she heard about this. 

@edb: Thanks for the info!