Divorced bees – does anyone regret their divorce?

posted 3 years ago in Encore
  • poll: If you've been divorced, do you regret the choice?
    I have been divorced and I do NOT regret it. : (104 votes)
    34 %
    I have been divorced and I did regret it at some point, but I don't any more. : (23 votes)
    7 %
    I have been divorced and I DO regret it. : (6 votes)
    2 %
    I have never been divorced. : (166 votes)
    54 %
    Other and I'll explain. : (11 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t regret it at all. After the lies and the cheating…I am so much happier now. My regret is I l shouldn’t have married him. I don’t believe in “cold feet” what I was feeling was proper doubt but I was on this massive wedding roller coaster and I was too much of a coward to stop it. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @cbgg:  I am divorced and I absolutely do not regret it. I did, for a few moments regret it about 3 years after we split up. It was strictly because I was depressed and having an awful time in abusive relationship and I thought *If only I’d never left K____ I wouldn’t be in this mess*. So I didn’t really regret him, I regretted my current bad choices. I just thought for those moments that maybe my marriage wasn’t that bad. And compared to the horror of my new relationship it wasn’t that bad. Then I snapped out of it and left both of them behind me and never looked back.

    ETA: If I didn’t have FI I don’t know whether or not I would be looking back to my ex because when I got rid of the abusive a**hole I was depressed, alone and 6 mos. later I lost my job. So I may have started thinking about my ex again if I had not met FI, just for financial reasons. But I was never happy after the first year of that marriage and even if I had gone back to him I know I would never have been happy. But I would have been able to pay my rent. So I can see how someone might be unhappy with their life after divorce and wish they could go back, but in reality I think divorce happens for a reason.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6753 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I have to say that I have at points regretted it.  My ex husband cheated.  So in reality it is about mourning what could have been, not the reality of what it was.  I was married for 10 years and most of that was pretty happy.  I regret that it ended up the way it did- but that was out of my control.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Hell no!  I have no regrets whatsoever.  Getting divorced was the best decision and I’m grateful I had the ability to do so (women in other countries are not so lucky).  When I kicked him out of the house, there was not one drop of remorse – only relief and peace.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I have not regretted my divorce for even a second. It was one of the best moves I have ever made!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    @Soon2BD-CBee:  +1 to this. I don’t regret my divorce but I do regret marrying him, I had feelings of doubt and I ignored them. Not smart 

    Post # 9
    Member
    8593 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Hmmm…I suppose it depends on your side.  If you wanted to stay and work it out but the other person wanted out, you’d probably regret your divorce.

    FWIW I know a fair number of divorced people.  The only people that are sad about it and regret it are the ones that didn’t want to get divorced in the first place.  The people who wanted to get divorced…NONE of them regret it!

    Post # 10
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @cbgg:  I am divorced and I do not regret it at all.  I was extremely embarassed during the separation and divorce because I didn’t like that people were judging me.  Once a few months passed, I felt better.  I also realized that I was lucky to get out of a bad marriage without having any kids with my ex husband.  I should have known my marriage was over on my first wedding anniversary when I had a horrible realization that now that I was married all I had to look forward to was having a child and then dying.  That was a horribly bleak outlook on life and my first marriage to say the least.

    (With my current FI I think of marriage as a beginning and an adventure for us to share together.  Very different relationship from the one I had with my ex husband.)

    Post # 11
    Member
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I absolutely do not regret it.  In a way, I kind of regret not getting divorced sooner.  I put up with a lot of BS before I got the courage to leave.  I stayed because we had a child.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    thumbs down to made-up statistics that guilt people into staying in unhappy marriages

    Post # 14
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    One of my BFFs definitely feels this way.  It drives me crazy because her ex cheated on her and married the woman.  Now that he’s bored with the 2nd wife he is calling my friend implying he made a mistake. What a jerk. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    I have no regret. The issues we had were not fixable in my eyes, and I was young and should have realized it before we were married. I guess you live and you learn! I am def not making the same mistake twice, and have become a stronger person. My life is in a positive direction now!

    Post # 16
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I do not regret it at all.  I am not one that is big on regret though.  I know that I gave it 200% to try to make it work.  But it takes two and my ex wasn’t willing.  He was very emotionally abusive to me and now that I am out of that environment, I can’t imagine living like that for the rest of my life.  I am so happy with life now.

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