Divorced Bees: what was the primary cause for your divorce?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What were the primary/ significant causes for your divorce?
    Infidelity : (18 votes)
    15 %
    Abuse (Emotional or Physical) : (27 votes)
    22 %
    Money problems/ Financial disagreements : (18 votes)
    15 %
    Child-rearing problems : (5 votes)
    4 %
    We just grew apart : (22 votes)
    18 %
    Other (if you feel like it, please explain) : (20 votes)
    16 %
    Substance abuse / Alcoholism : (14 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I have never been divorced, but my mother divorced my father because of finances.  I think it’s pretty common.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Melithehoneybee:  I broke an engagement before. We had already been having problems, but I felt like I had invested too much time and energy to be with him to leave him and didn’t think I’d find anyone else.

    We were young. Me 21 and him 20, and he ended up drunk as a skunk off some alcohol a girl, who I later found he was cheating on me with, ahd bought for him. He was also using marijuana behind my back with the neighbors. Once I learn the drug bit when I found him drunk when we were supposed to have date night, I checked his phone and found the text messages from the girl and the drug texts as well and I kicked him to the curb.

    I was supporting his deadbeat ass so I worked so hard and often that I didn’t know this had been going on for quite some time.

    Post # 5
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    @Melithehoneybee:  My divorce was MOSTLY because he raped me.  But also, he couldn’t hold down a job, he was emotionally abusive, and I had to take care of him.  It was just a bad marriage. 

    I don’t blame your friend for getting a divorce.  I would not have children with someone who was financially irresponsible.  It’s a nightmare to deal with.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Melithehoneybee:  I also want to add that it would be nice if you could pick more than one option in the poll

    Post # 9
    Member
    6740 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Ex-Husband cheated.

    Post # 10
    Member
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My mother divorced my father because of addiction issues (drug, alcohol)

    I have never been married, but I was very serious with a BF before my DH. We broke up because we had been together since 16, and we essentially just grew up and became the people we were meant to be, which did NOT go well together.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Melithehoneybee:  I’m pretty sure there is a tab that says voters can pick one option and another that says voters can choose multiple options at the top, you just click the multiple box when you go in to edit the poll.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I left because he was killing me emotionally. I was constantly put down and if I didn’t leave it would have killed me because of the amount of stress I was under. I was always too fat, teeth weren’t straight enough or white enough, I had a pimple and he’d act like I was so disgusting, he controlled me and MY hard earned money and would make me split EVERYTHING down to the freakin penny. It was awful. I saw red flags before we were married but ignored them because I was so in love with being engaged and the thought of a wedding I was dumb and didn’t think about the marriage or the fact that I pretty much hated his fucking guts. It lasted about a year before I left but never should have even taken place. Oh well you live and learn, I now know how strong a woman I am and that I will NEVER let anyone treat me or make me feel how he did.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Lies & no trust. Flirting & sexting with randoms & online dating. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    5192 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Melithehoneybee:  “I am shocked because this couple got married a year ago and they were ridiculously in love.”

    This is why, in my opinion, love is not enough.  Love is important, of course, but you also have to be compatible in some core ways.

    It’s strange to me though, that she would have married him in the first place given this situation.  It seems like something that should have been addressed early.

    As for me, I haven’t been divorced and hope to keep it that way.  Sorry to see form the poll that so many bees have experienced cheating/abuse.  Very sad.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4212 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My parents divorced for a lot of reasons, but from my perspective it seemed like they really just started resenting each other and stopped being even the slightest bit caring towards each other. Both were very stubborn, one was passive and one was very aggressive. Neither had the insight or the humility to admit they were wrong or needed to apologize for anything. I think they were very immature and were married too young.

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