Post # 1
My good friend is getting a divorce even though she is pregnant. She says there was no infidelity or abuse in her marriage. She says that as soon as she found out she was bringing a child into the world she realized she could not continue putting up with the financial mess that is her husband. She’s a physician and can support her daughter on her own. He’s a succesful photographer and makes a good living, but he is a compulsive spender, takes unnecessary loans, and “forgets” to pay bills/ debts. He also refuses to let her get involved in managing their finances. I am shocked because this couple got married a year ago and they were ridiculously in love.
I know that when a couple decides to get a divorce, there are often many factors into play. It’s often difficult to pinpoint a single cause for such a heartbreaking decision. However, I wonder, if you could choose a primary or significant reason(s) for your divorce, which would that (those) be?
Of course, bees that are separated or/and have broken an engagement are welcome to answer as well.
ETA: I added an option for Substance abuse / alcoholism AND the possibility of selecting multiple choices
Post # 3
I have never been divorced, but my mother divorced my father because of finances. I think it’s pretty common.
Post # 4
@Melithehoneybee: I broke an engagement before. We had already been having problems, but I felt like I had invested too much time and energy to be with him to leave him and didn’t think I’d find anyone else.
We were young. Me 21 and him 20, and he ended up drunk as a skunk off some alcohol a girl, who I later found he was cheating on me with, ahd bought for him. He was also using marijuana behind my back with the neighbors. Once I learn the drug bit when I found him drunk when we were supposed to have date night, I checked his phone and found the text messages from the girl and the drug texts as well and I kicked him to the curb.
I was supporting his deadbeat ass so I worked so hard and often that I didn’t know this had been going on for quite some time.
Post # 5
@Melithehoneybee: My divorce was MOSTLY because he raped me. But also, he couldn’t hold down a job, he was emotionally abusive, and I had to take care of him. It was just a bad marriage.
I don’t blame your friend for getting a divorce. I would not have children with someone who was financially irresponsible. It’s a nightmare to deal with.
Post # 6
@Melithehoneybee: I also want to add that it would be nice if you could pick more than one option in the poll
Post # 7
@fancymichelle: I am SO SORRY that happened to you. But I am happy that you had the courage to leave! Wish you all the best *HUGS*
Post # 8
@megz06: Yes! But I don’t know how to do that! Do you have any idea?
Post # 10
My mother divorced my father because of addiction issues (drug, alcohol)
I have never been married, but I was very serious with a BF before my DH. We broke up because we had been together since 16, and we essentially just grew up and became the people we were meant to be, which did NOT go well together.
Post # 11
@Melithehoneybee: I’m pretty sure there is a tab that says voters can pick one option and another that says voters can choose multiple options at the top, you just click the multiple box when you go in to edit the poll.
Post # 12
I left because he was killing me emotionally. I was constantly put down and if I didn’t leave it would have killed me because of the amount of stress I was under. I was always too fat, teeth weren’t straight enough or white enough, I had a pimple and he’d act like I was so disgusting, he controlled me and MY hard earned money and would make me split EVERYTHING down to the freakin penny. It was awful. I saw red flags before we were married but ignored them because I was so in love with being engaged and the thought of a wedding I was dumb and didn’t think about the marriage or the fact that I pretty much hated his fucking guts. It lasted about a year before I left but never should have even taken place. Oh well you live and learn, I now know how strong a woman I am and that I will NEVER let anyone treat me or make me feel how he did.
Post # 13
@Eckle: HA! silly me! thank you so much 🙂
Post # 14
Lies & no trust. Flirting & sexting with randoms & online dating.
Post # 15
@Melithehoneybee: “I am shocked because this couple got married a year ago and they were ridiculously in love.”
This is why, in my opinion, love is not enough. Love is important, of course, but you also have to be compatible in some core ways.
It’s strange to me though, that she would have married him in the first place given this situation. It seems like something that should have been addressed early.
As for me, I haven’t been divorced and hope to keep it that way. Sorry to see form the poll that so many bees have experienced cheating/abuse. Very sad.
Post # 16
My parents divorced for a lot of reasons, but from my perspective it seemed like they really just started resenting each other and stopped being even the slightest bit caring towards each other. Both were very stubborn, one was passive and one was very aggressive. Neither had the insight or the humility to admit they were wrong or needed to apologize for anything. I think they were very immature and were married too young.