- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
So…My parents have been divorced for many, many years (20+). My mother is not remarried, and has recently ended a 5-year relationship. My dad is remarried (to the woman he left my mom for over 20 years ago). They have a teenage daughter, and my step-mom has two daughters from her first marriage who are I completely consider my sisters.
Plot thickens. My parents and my step-mother and her 1st husband used to be our next door neighbors. My step-mom even threw my mother her baby shower when my mom got pregnant with me. So, the divorces between my parents and my step-mom and her husband were very messy and very awkward to say the least (my dad and step-mom had been having an affair). There were a lot of hard feelings and people got treated very badly, including myself.
BUT, this was a long time ago and for the past decade at least, things have been totally fine. I get along great with my dad’s family and with my mom’s. The thing is, they haven’t really ever talked….like in almost 20 years. Even though they live in the same town and raised me with joint custody. At my high school graduation they didn’t come within 200ft of eachother; at my college graduation, only my mom came, and dad and his wife came a week earlier and saw my final college play and celebrated then.
So basically, my wedding is the first time both families will be thrown together in almost 20 years. YEAH FOR ME.
I know everyone will behave (HOPE!). But mostly I am concerned about things being awkward. I am not so worried about the wedding day, as everyone will be so consumed with whats going on. But, I am worried about my bridal shower, which will literally be there first time everyone is together (step-sisters, half-sister, mom, dad, step-mom, some of my parent’s friends from when they were married). Also worried about my bachelorette, which will throw my mom and step-mom together.
My mom was kind of freaking out about it to me until my FI told her she was making me really anxious. My dad and his wife haven’t mentioned it. My step-sisters have slightly differing opinions about how it will go…both think it will probably be mostly ok.
Also, quite a few of my parents friends from when they were married are only really still in contact with my mom. No weirdness, just how it ended up. And many of them are invited to the wedding. My parents best friends from when they were married are throwing our wedding shower
And my FI’s mom is deceased and his dad lives in Africa, and most of his family lives in the UK (he is Irish). Only his sister is coming to the wedding. So for all these events, his family won’t be a buffer for mine b/c they won’t be there.
Am I worried for no reason? Anyone else the child of divorced parents and dealing with all these issues?
I really want everyone included in all my activities and big day as I really consider everyone family!
PS My mom and step-sisters know each other (from childhood, and my mom is very friendly with their dad as they have similar careers -more plot thickening I know!). So at least I know that my step-mother’s children get along fine with my mom. They like her and she likes them!
Sorry this was so long! Any advice or experience would be helpful!