Divorced family photos

posted 2 years ago in Photography
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee

DH’s folks are divorced and remarried. We first intended to just take pictures with his Dad+wife and then with Mom+husband, because we also felt that one with his Mom+Dad would be uncomfortable and the only person who would want that picture was him … so DH decided it wasn’t worth it. But then on the actual wedding day, everyone was in such high spirits that we ended up taking the picture with his bio parents together anyway!

If it’s a big deal to you to have a pic with both your parents, then they can suck it up for the two seconds it will take. Otherwise, treat them as two separate families.

Member
3819 posts
Honey bee

Mine are amicably divorced, which made it easier, and we did:

1-Entire family (w/brother, SIL, nephews…)

2-me & DH w/Mom

3-w/Dad

3-w/Mom & Dad

4-With stepparents

My photographer knew the situation up front, and was really good about getting people in and out of the photos. We also did ones just with my stepmom, to make sure she didn’t feel left out.

Member
98 posts
Worker bee

i was just pondering this same thing, my parents ahve been divorcedd for close to twenty years now though. im not sure i want a picture with both of them as its not really how i’ve lived my life. neither are remarried at the moment(my dads second marriage just failed) but i dohave a younger half brother. im treating as two different families all together. if you really want that picture though im sure your oparents will oblige for the minute that it will take to shoot it. atleast i would hope so. it was an easier decision for me but i can see how someone would struggle with especially if you’ve lived the majority of your life with them together. good luck and just do what feels right.

Member
3819 posts
Honey bee

Are you close with the kids? My nephews are 18 & 20, and I took one photo just with them, and they were in the whole family photo. I realize that’s a different relationship, but just putting it out as an example. Your parents may want them in the photos.

Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m worried about this too.  I figured if my parents could suck it up and give me the photo I deserve to have.  They’re my parents and I think it’s my right to have a photo together.  With that said, I feel bad that they may feel awkward but I mean….=/ I dunno.  It’s tough.

My mom remarried and my dad hasn’t and they’ve been divorced for er…I guess around 2 years-ish.  Maybe a little less.  I don’t really want photos w/step dad but I figured if it help get me my bio parents pic together I’d be willing to take one with mom/her new husband.

I just won’t have them on display, lol.

Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

I will get a picture with just my parents. They can suck it up for a minute. I’m actually bummed that I have to include my stepmom in my large family photo or take the time to take photos with her and my dad.  I like her, but it’s not like we are close. I guess there is no way to have all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc and not include her. My dad will like those photos….

Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

I worried about this until I realized that it is MY wedding. My parents got the pictures they wanted at their weddings, and I’m getting the pictures I want at my wedding. In that regard, I don’t like my mother’s husband at all. I wouldn’t even invite him if I didn’t have to. I’m definitely not taking any pictures with him. My family pictures will include my mother and father. I’ll probably take one with my Dad and his new wife so that she doesn’t feel left out, but only because I like her. Not my Dad.

My point is: It completely depends on your family dynamic. How do YOU feel about it? Whose feelings are most important to you? And what pictures do you want to put up in your house after your wedding? You only get one shot at it.

Member
8853 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Do whatever you want, they’re your pictures.  If you want a pic of you, FI, FILs, Dad/SM, and Mom/SD then do one.

My parents are divorced and remarried as well.  The way I did it for my first wedding was like this:

Picture 1 – Dad/SM, FI, Me, Mom/SD (parents on either side)

Picture 2 – FI, Me, Dad/SM

Picture 3 – FI, Me, Mom/SD

Picture 4 – FILs, FI, Me, Mom/SD

Picture 5 – FILs, FI, Me, Dad/SM

I did not combine my parents together without their spouses because they’re not together and they don’t get along.  If yours do then a picture of you, FI, Mom, and Dad may be appropriate.  It just wasn’t worth it for me since they’re not together and I would never frame a picture with FILs, FI, me, Mom/SD, and Dad/SM all in the same picture.

Member
407 posts
Helper bee

My sister did both at her wedding. A photo with just my mom and dad, and then one with mom, dad and us (her sisters. Then she did a photo with mom, her bf, dad and his gf.

Member
8853 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

P.S. If you’re going to exclude a stepparent or stepsibling or anyone from pictures I wouldn’t say anything to them about it beforehand to avoid unnecessary stress.  Give your list of non-no people to the photographer and have him/her line everyone up for pics and if that person jumps in try to put them on the end of one picture and then have the photographer ask them to step out for another shot.

Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee

I haven’t dealt with a marriage, but when my daughter graduated from high school, and then college, I made sure a photos were taken of the three of us together.  I don’t see the ex much (he lives out of state), but I did it for my daughter.

Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I’m a photographer, recent bride and child of divorce. My parents hadn’t seen each other since the day they got divorced 15 years ago. They just sucked it up and did it. And so have all the divorced parents of my clients. I think at weddings we worry too much about these things. Sometimes for the sake of my clients I’ll even play stupid and ask the parents to get in the photo pretending i don’t know they are divorced. Just place them on opposite sides!:)

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