Divorced In-laws around the holidays

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sarahroby:  His are together and mine are divorced, we are military so it is really hard to see family but we manage…

Thanksgiving: His Parents 

Christmas Eve: My Mom 

Christmas Day: My Dad 

His birthday: His parents (if we could afford a trip for that)

Ny birthday: My parents (if possible). 

EDIT: Easter is with my Dad (if we could make that trip)

 

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Do they all live close by? WHo celebrates which holiday the most?

DH’s family celebrates Thanksgiving, whereas my family celebrates Christmas but not Thanksgiving! And since they live 8 hours apart and we live almost exactly between them, my family gets the few days around Christmas, his family gets a few days around Thanksgiving, and we get to hang with friends at New Years’!

Post # 5
Member
7090 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

FIL’s birthday is two weeks before thanksgiving and he lives 2 hours away, so usually we go out and celebrate then, and he does thanksgiving with his immediate family.

Thanksgiving day usually we either invite MIL to come with us to my family celebration, or we take her out for lunch and do dinner with my family.

Christmas eve we go to FILs, christmas morning at my parents, lunch with MIL and then out to a family friend’s house for a get together.

Hope you’re hungry, hehe.

Post # 6
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@Payless:  We are the same- both sets of parents divorced. We also try to celebrate with my step-moms family because my dad and step-mom have been together since I was very young.

 

OP we claimed Thanksgiving as our holiday. We stay home, started our own traditions. Any of our family is welcome to join us, but we stay at our house.

As far as Christmas goes we celebrate 5-6 Christmases each year because I refuse to not see my family. Some are celebrated the weekend before, some after. It isn’t a great solution, but I can’t imagine not seeing some of our extended family that we really ony see at Christmas.

Post # 7
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My parents are divorced.  My FI’s mom lives far away and there is no expectation of us going there, but he celebrated everything with his grandma for a while before he and I were spending holidays together, so we factor her in too.

His grandma lives about 15 minutes from us, my mom is an hour away, and my dad is another half hour away further than my mom (though with holiday traffic, those usually about double).

We do:

Thanksgiving with my mom

Christmas Eve dinner with his grandma (he’s always had Christmas Eve dinner with her- his whole life).  Drive to my mom’s after dinner.

Wake up Christmas morning with my mom and do presents/breakfast.  Waking up Christmas morning is SUPER important to her.

Christmas dinner with his grandma

Day after Christmas with my dad (when my parents split and worked out custody and all that fun stuff, my Christmas celebration with my dad was the 26th, so we’ve just kept it)

Our birthdays: We do that just us!

Their birthdays: Whoever’s birthday it is (my mom’s is Thanksgiving this year, so thank goodness that’s already her day).

We have already started to tell our families that once we have kids, they will have to come to us – we won’t do this driving around!

Have you asked your DH to help solve this problem?  If his parents have been divorced for a while, he probably has experience with it and will have ideas.  My parents split up when I was 8, so although scheduling time is hard, it’s sort of second nature.  He’ll also have a better idea of whose ok with what (notice my dad has less time than anyone else – it’s because the holidays aren’t as big to him, so we make up for it other times during the year!)

And I echo @Westwood:  get hungry! Because splitting it three ways is a TON of food!

Good Luck!

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