Post # 1
Hi, some help would be greatly appreciated.
We are due to get married in a few months and my h2b’s parenys are divorced, have been for about 5yrs. mil has just told h2b she doesnt eant to sit by his dad. i know traditional seating says mix the parents but i want my parents to be together to sit with my children, so i thought perhaps tgey could be reasonable for 2hrs. mil doesnt know anyone else going as there isnt much family on his side. my problem is that she isnt the most pleasant of people, infact she has made my life a living hell. she accused me of cheating on my h2b, shes never done a thing for our children, because she needs to think of herself now (her words) and she insults me everytime we meet, not that its often now. my parents said they would sit separate but then why should i change my plans, and what i want, just to suit a woman that is, quite honestly, intolerable?
i dont know whether to change my plans to suit her or do i ask her to be reasonable for a few hours, and she will be sitting near, not beside him, or she can choose to not come.
Post # 3
I’d let her sit where she wants. I don’t think seating is all that important honestly!
Post # 4
I agree, I’d let her sit where she wants, but if she is going to be like that, she should be the one to move, not his father. Don’t force your FFIL to sit somewhere else just because your FMIL don’t want to sit by him. If she doesn’t want to sit with the rest of the family, that’s her decision, and honestly most people won’t notice.
Post # 5
I guess I don’t understand. Mix the parents?
Anyway, we have a similar situation–FI’s parents are divorced and his mother hates his dad. She will be seated with her family, and FFIL will be seated with his wife, kids, and some of his family. I assume they’ll be civil.
Post # 6
sorry, by mix the parents i meant my mum beside his dad and his mum beside my dad.
she doesnt have anyone else she wants to sit with though, as she doesnt talk to her family (her mum and sisters and brother) and the only family on fiances side is his dads sister and her family.
a friend had suggested an unplanned seating, but i cant as i have a choice menu so the hotel needs to know whos having what and where they are
Post # 7
Are you talking about the ceremony or the reception. At the ceremony, traditionally the parent who raised the bride or groom respectively gets the front row. That is usually the mother. If the parents do not get along, the other parent sits benind them.
At the reception, I do not see a big deal with seating parents seperately.
Post # 8
Seating really isn’t that big of a deal. They sit for dinner and toasts and then mostly get up, move around, dance and mingle. Let her choose who to sit with. I would tell her that she can choose her seatmates but if there isn’t anyone she wants to sit with then she will sit where you put her and NOT complain. if you need to put her at a neutral table (friends or something) then do that. Parents don’t have to sit together and you don’t have to have a ‘his and hers’ side either.