Post # 1
I’m meeting with our invitation lady tomorrow to order our invites – I can’t believe I haven’t figured this out yet! My FH’s parents are long-divorced, re-married, and re-divorced several times over. They have not been involved in planning the wedding at all; the hosting is entirely by my parents. Do FILs’ names go on the invitation? How? I was thinking it would go something like:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Son of Charles Jones and Diane McDonald
Trouble is, FH thinks it’s “unseemly” (his word) to include their names, since that makes it clear that they’re no longer married. Since he’s not that close to them, he doesn’t really care about including them, and they aren’t involved in planning the wedding at all. But there’s enough drama in that family as it is – I don’t want to create any more by deliberately leaving them out. FH swears he’ll handle whatever ruckus might come up, which he’s pretty good at, but… Dunno. What to do, bees?
Post # 3
I’d trust FI. If he says leave them off, I’d do that.
Post # 4
Typically it’s only the hosts who go on the wedding invite. I say leave them off.
Post # 5
I have the same issue. My Fiance’s parents are divorced, and both remarried. I put all of their names on the program, but only his true parents on the invites. I asked him how he felt but he could care less… What a guy…
Post # 6
We are in the same boat and didn’t want any hurt feelings… Especially since FH’s StepDad has been his step-dad since he was in grade school. To tip toe around it we put on the invite: “Together with our parents (MY NAME) & (HIS NAME) joyfully invite you to our wedding celebration…”
Post # 7
Typically, only the hosts’ names (traditionally, the bride’s parents) are on the invite (well, other than the bride and groom). So if you leave his parents off the invite, you will be doing the “correct” thing.
However, often the groom’s parents’ names are added either because they are helping host or as a courtesy to make them feel included. But if your FI doesn’t want them on there, you certainly don’t HAVE to include their names. But if you choose to include them, the way you have done so is “correct” too.
What I don’t get is his comment that it’s unseemly to make it clear they are no longer married? Is it a secret? Are there family members or friends who don’t know this? I wouldn’t think so. I’m guessing most divorced people would WANT to make it clear that they were no longer married and hate when they are mistaken for still being married to each other…not sure why it’s unseemly…..
Post # 8
If you want to include his parents, the way you have it worded is correct. Since they aren’t hosting or otherwise involved, you aren’t obligated to include their names. If FI doesn’t care (or doesn’t like the wording), I wouldn’t put them on. If there is drama, the response is “My parents are hosting this event, therefore their names are on the invitations they are sending out”.
@vanillabean: we went this route as well. We paid for most of the wedding anyway and all the names were just too wordy.
Post # 9
both FI and I’s parents are divorced and remarried.. therefore it was very wordy. We are wording ours like..
jane doe and john smith
together with our families
that way they are still included (everyone knows who the parents are) but it wont be so long with everyones names. Now this may not work for you if your parents or his are paying for the wedding. We can get away with that bc we are the ones hosting/paying whatever.
Post # 10
We’re going the “together with their families” route even though at the time when we picked our wording, one of FI’s parents wasn’t contributing money or effort. It was just easier for us to use the blanket statement even though it offered hosting acknowledgement to a parent who wasn’t doing anything. Thankfully, she has become more involved since then.
Post # 11
My parents are divorce/re-married, so I eliminated this issue by using the phrase: “Together with their families Vmblai1019 & Mr. N. request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of…” blah blah blah. That way we didn’t ruffle any feathers, but they still look and sound nice.