Divorced parents photo drama

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think your stepmother is behaving like a child, and that it probably where your dad is getting it from. Poor you…. some parents just don’t get it. I would say that instead of forcing it on them, try to get your photographer to “causually” make it happen in a moment where the three of you are together. Like “OK, now just the parents with the bride!” sort of thing. Maybe this is just one of those times that it needs to be a little more organic, without giving people, and their egos, a chance to ruin it. 

Post # 4
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Email him back and tell him that you respect his decision, although you wish he’d reconsider so that he can be with you on your wedding day. Tell him you can’t fathom how your wishes to have a single photo of yourself with your parents would be so blown out of proportion, and you hope he’ll reconsider. 

 

Basically, lay the guilt on thick, and make it clear that he’s the one making the big fuss.

Post # 5
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

OH, now that is just rotten!!! I simply don’t get it….. WHO is the child and WHO is the parent??? I’m upset for you! Why don’t you go tell your dad that you just met a woman (me) whose mother is dead and whose father lives 4,000 miles away and due to health concerns most likely won’t be at the wedding. Then go tell him take a good look at his family, because some people simply shouldn’t take their family for granted when other people don’t have them at all. The only excuse for parents not coming is death or illness. That’s just SHAMEFUL!

 

Post # 6
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Alternately, tell him that you’ve changed your mind and want him to come. And then after the wedding, send him a framed photograph you’ve had photoshopped to include you, him, and your mother.

Post # 7
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was going to suggest photoshop, but now he’s just being an ass. Hopefully, he will grow up before the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wrong thread

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Duncan.
Post # 9
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Whoa! That’s crazy. Lay on the guilt trip and add future resentment. I wouldn’t have anything to do with them ever again after that stunt. 

Post # 10
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

pinkrose23:  I would email back what you have written here: that you have compromised on other things already, namely not sitting in the same pew and not being near each other in the receiving line. (I happen to agree with them over reception seating, because sitting close means some sort of interaction over a few hours). And now he won’t compromise over some small thing in return, which only takes about 30 seconds?

And tell him that if he’s going to miss his daughter’s wedding over that, then you are very sad.

Post # 11
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

pinkrose23:  Wow, your step-mom sounds like quite a little bitch with some major insecurity issues.

Don’t reply to the email. Let them stew in their own juices for awhile.  Hopefully they will calm down and apologize. 

In my view, I think that yes, they are both being stupid and petty.  It’s one photo with your two parents on either side of you.  It’s not like you’re trying to pretend they’re still married.

However, I think your other requests may have tainted this one. You were trying to push more togetherness than they were comfortable with. Realize too that you didn’t compromise – you accepted their “no” to your requests As you should have.  I suspect you father’s new wife feels offended that you want them to socialize with your mother and/or she feels like you’re trying to act as if they are still married and literally push her out of the picture.

So, either accept their offer to have a photo with the new wife included or have a picture with each parent separately.  But don’t feed into their threats and tantrums. 

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

What in the actual fuck? I would express my regret at his unfortunate and selfish decision and leave it at that. For pair of grown adults to act like demanding brats is shameful. Hopefully they’ll remember they’re grown-ups soon and you can gracefully pretend this nonsense never happened.

Post # 13
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s inappropriate for you to ask your parents to take a “family photo” when you are no longer a family together. Your mom will always be your mom and your dad always your dad but the three of you are not a unit. And I say this as a child of divorced parents. 

Aside from that it sounds like you have bigger problems on your hands than a photo. 

Post # 14
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

OP, sorry you’re going through this!<br />Hope it will all work out in the end.

Post # 15
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

Sorry you have to put up with that OP 🙁 They both sound ridiculously immature. If they don’t go, they will be the ones that look like idiots – not you. 

Do you have any Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents that could talk to them for you? It is your day and frankly they just need to suck it up and do as you ask. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors