Divorced, Remarried, Maiden Names…Help me, please.

posted 3 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MsRealityTV:  I just went through this, almost exactly! My parents are divorced, both are remarried. My mom had taken my dad’s last name, and kept it even after she divorced & remarried. My stepmother kept her original married name. Everyone is contributing some money to the wedding.

I thought it would look awful with so many names on the invitation (we all also have long names!), but actually I think it looks fine. My future in-laws disagree – they think it looks crazy and awful – but it is really important to both of my parents to have their names on the invitation, and they are super touched and honored that my stepparents are on there as well, so I decided that should win out over my in-laws thinking it looks a little weird. Anyway, the way we did it is like this:

Jane Mylastname & John Stepdad

Michael Mylastname & Mary Stepmom

Susan & Bob Hislastname

invite you to share in the celebration

of the marriage of

Myname & Hisname

We took out the Mr./Mrs. to make it look less crowded, and made the font on the parents’ names a touch smaller than the font in the rest of the invitation. I think it looks nice, and I feel good about honoring all the people that have been a part of my life for a long time! I posted my invites here, if you want to look:


Post # 4
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’d add in son of: 

*And your mom would be Mrs.




Mr. Dad Lastname and Mrs. Stepmom Lastname


Mr. Stepdad Lastname2 and Ms. Mom Lastname3


request the pleasure of your company 


to the marriage of their daughter


RealityTV First Middle




Groom First Middle


son of…


Post # 6
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@MsRealityTV:  I would just order them as “Together with their parents” and ask for forgiveness later.  Listing all of the different couples and names is awkward and confusing for guests.  Plus, it looks plain awful.

Post # 9
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@jbh13:  Actually, since her mom kept her maiden name, she would not be Mrs, she would be Ms. Mrs is only for married women who changed or hyphenated their last name.

Post # 10
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I come from a blended family and I did “together with their families” and everyone loved it. Our invitation just looked way too cluttered with everyone’s name on it (plus, the focus should be on your and your FI’s names, not your parents’).

Post # 13
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@a_day_at_the_fair:  yes, i’ve always kept my maiden name (now and in previous marriages) and have always remained a ms.  simply b/c mrs mylastname is my mother.

Post # 14
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@jbh13:  Mrs signifies a “married to” type of title. Since she kept her maiden name, she didn’t marry into that name, so Mrs is considered inappropriate.


@MsRealityTV:  Ms is a title that is appropriate for married, unmarried and divorced adult women, so yeah a woman can choose to be a Ms even if she changed her name, and it’s still ok. However Mrs does not work the same way, and is inappropriate usage for unmarried women and women who keep their maiden name. You can choose to be titled a Ms, you can’t choose to be titled Mrs.

Post # 14
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


MsRealityTV:  Does you mom ever use your step dad’s name socially?

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