Post # 1
I have been friends with a couple for many years. When I sent my save the dates out, they were sent to Mr. and Mrs. So&So. However, in the time since, they have separated and are now going through a divorce. Now I’m wondering what to do when I send the actual invitations in a few weeks.
Between the two, I’d much rather have the wife at my wedding, than the husband. I was friends with both and don’t have any personal problems with the husband. But I feel as though it would be uncomfortable to have both of them there and given his recent attitude towards his own marriage, I’m not sure those are the vibes I’d want when I start mine.
I was told it would be impolite not to send him an invitation as well because he was on the S-T-D. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
I think you should invite both. Divorce is hard emotionally and that is when you find out who your friends really are. He is already probably being not included in a lot of things and because you sent the STD to both of them I think it would be rude not too. I think then they can decide as to whether or not they would be comfortable going.
They are adults. They can be polite and civil for an evening.
Post # 4
@vabride2011:If you’re still friends with both, invite both but let them know that they are gonna be respectful and polite (even if that means completely ignoring each other) at your wedding. Anything else other than a truce will get them removed, forcably if required. And be prepared to back this up.
They are adults and should be able to act as such.
We’re inviting a couple who are divorced and BOTH are friends. They know that at ANY party/gathering my FI hosts, anyone who isn’t respectful and/or starts crap WILL BE REMOVED. Not only would HE do it, but he’s got plenty of friends who would help.
As long as you lay down the rules, put them at opposite sides of the room, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Let a few burly-type guy friends and/or security (if your venue offers that option) know the rules and let the know about the situation. Give them pics of the pair just in case, you’ll be fine.
Unless you know EVERYTHING from BOTH sides (which, honestly, would be impossible because it’s human nature to lie, unless you witnessed an affair or something), then there could be a reason unknown to you WHY the guy has changed his tune towards HIS marriage and maybe marriage in general.
Also, it’s possible one or the other (or both) might not come at all.
🙂 good luck!!!
Post # 5
I would talk to her since you are closer and let her know you plan on still inviting them both – hopefully they each know other people there they can talk with and are able to enjoy themselves and celebrate you without any drama with each other.