Post # 1
I always pictured an intimate wedding with close family and friends. I especially didn’t want everyone and their neighbor to be there. My FI insisted on a big wedding because he is only “doing this once”
I am very frugal and so is he so we decided to do alot ourselves. The guest list is at 350 people. I do not even mind that he wants a big wedding. But DIY for that many people takes a lot of time. I can not get him to help with hardly anything! Help. How do I get him a little more involved and willing to help? I had to plead with him to keep the taste testing for the caterer appoinment after having to cancle once already and had to reschedule going to do our registry twice. I’m frustrated.
How can I make this fun for him? Should I tell him we can do it all naked while drinking beer?
Post # 3
I would give him a choice.
He can do
a) cough up the extra money to buy the items you were going to DIY
b) reduce the guest list
c) help with time.
You arent going to make it fun, but that shouldnt matter. Its as much his responsibility as it is yours if the big wedding is his request.
Post # 4
He’s not a child, you shouldn’t have to make it fun for him.
Post # 5
I am sort of in the same boat. I want to DIY everything! What I have done is come up with “man projects” for him to work on while I am doing the really crafty stuff. For example, his current project is to make a sign that will go by the road to direct people. It involves plywood, saws, paint, etc. Manly stuff. Once the snow is gone, his job will be to cut down trees to get wood slices for my centerpieces. Also very manly (chainsaw). Try to think of things he might actually do, and let him do it his way (don’t supervise or tell him how to do it).
I hope this helps!
Post # 6
I wanted to elope, FH wanted to have a wedding. We are having a wedding. Did FH want to help plan or make any decisions with the wedding? No. Guess who is planning the wedding? Sure as heck not me. His mom is. Have you tried this approach?
Post # 7
@MRSsrm85: I would have tried this approach but out of the 350 guests… his mother is probably the only person in the world who didnt make the guest list. She has a lot of issues and we haven’t seen her in almost 3 years!
However, I have tried to stop doing things and let them pile up so he notices that we need to get a move on things but he doesn’t. Plus, then I get really nervous that they won’t get done so I just end up doing it. Because lets face it if something goes wrong at the wedding or its not done correctly… people are not going to blame the groom for those little details. So needless to say, I can’t wait till the day after the wedding. I’m sure after all is said and done I too will be glad of all the work I put into this.
Post # 8
@Miss2Mrs_Beerlover: That’s too bad. My FMIL insisted on inviting my parents who have chosen to ignore the invitation so I completely understand!
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Honestly, if he wants the big wedding, he can do the legwork to make it happen. I would refuse to put that stress on myself. I’d tell him to manup or I slash the guest list to make it the intimate (and far more manegable) wedding I wanted in the first place. 350 people would send me to the dang loony bin.
Post # 10
@lovekiss: I am going to have a big talk with him today. I would love to slash the guest list but we have already sent out the save the dates. Im going to tell him I am doing this because he wants it but he has to start helping or I will go batshit crazy on him. 🙂 maybe not in those terms but I hope he gets the point. Its hard planning any wedding and much harder by yourself! Thanks for the love!