(Closed) Do Asians Always Show Up Late?

posted 10 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

They absolutely always show up late, even if the ceremony/reception location is the same.  I think it’s a generational thing, traditional old-school people, ironically, don’t really care about the wedding ceremony. 

I’m not Chinese, but in my Asian culture, the ceremony part is usually held at the bride & groom’s parents’ homes with just close family members, so I think Asian guests don’t put as much weight on the attending the ceremony, especially if you are having an Americanized one. 

Plus, they are probably your parents’ friend of a friend of a friend and don’t know the bride & groom. They just show up for the party to make sure they give you your money envelope!

I think it’s definitely OK to order less chairs, and know that some people might have to stand (especially if the ceremony is short).  But if the cost of the chairs isn’t going to break your budget, I’d err on the safe side and order enough.

Be forewarned!  Asian people suck at RSVPing because they just don’t do that for any event.  So be ready for extra people to attend who didn’t respond, or RSVPd for 1 person then showed up with 3 add’l guests.  The only surprise guests I had were all Asian, of course.

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My family is Korean and we are ALWAYS LATE!!  Even when we start getting ready earlier to avoid it–just can’t figure it out.  I think it is totally fine to have some people stand.  As long as you have enough seats for elderly and immediate family/people of honor you will be fine.  Every outdoor wedding I’ve been to (big & small) has had people standing so it is not uncommon!

Post # 5
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

YES YES YES!  THEY ARE ALWAYS LATE & NEVER EVER EVER RSVP!

Being Vietnamese/Chinese does not help the situation either!  =)  I have been to a gazillion asian weddings and they are never on time.  There was a wedding I went to in December that was supposed to start at 7…they didn’t even serve the first dish out until 8:30 because people were still coming in at that time!  It’s frustrating, but there is really not much you can do about it.  Except if you really wanted people to show up at 7, invite them to come at 6, so that they actually show up on time.

I am a stickler for arriving on time.  But if I know I’m going to an asian wedding, I don’t come early; I come an hour late (only because I will have to sit and wait while my stomach is growling due to hunger while I wait for the late comers).  But if it’s an American wedding, then I will arrive on time.

I agree with SoCalBeachGirl- if it doesn’t break the bank, then rent the full number of chairs you need.  But if it’s too expensive, then maybe just order 20 less (cause it’s not really noticable anyways if a few stand).

This is also known as ASIAN TIME! 

 

Post # 6
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Yes … Asians are always late. 

 

I say.. on your rsvp have one for the ceremony as well.

Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee

There will always be a pretty big number of late Asians or no-shows to the ceremony.  At a recent wedding, a lady sat by me during dinner and confided that she times her arrival to miss the ceremony on purpose.  That got my goat.  Now I really don’t want to invite her to my wedding even though I probably have to.

Post # 8
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

My experience has only been with South Asians, but speaking in broad sweeping sterotypes I’ve found that if they know they are going to a wedding outside their own culture they will be on time or only a little late b/c they know that’s what’s expected, but if it’s to an event in the South Asian community they will be late b/c they know everyone else will be late and the event won’t start on time anyway so why be there "early?"

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i have on my invites for half hour early for the reception bc of this.  however i will not have the guests wait for everyone to be seated bc that’s just unfair.  i will start on time so whoever’s late will have to go with the flow.  there will be no special treatments towards them.  i hate eating soooo late bc ppl can’t be considerate of others to show up on time.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

The last wedding I went to..the church ceremony was at 11:00 and the reception followed.

 At the reception I saw my aunt and cousins there and I asked, "Were you guys at the church?" cause I didn’t see them and their reply, "No way, it was too early."  I was like .. oh uh .. okay.  =X

I have a 3.5 hour gap between my ceremony and reception so I wouldn’t be suprised as to why people would miss our ceremony (and maybe even our reception).  

Post # 11
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

YES we are ALWAYS late.

Post # 12
Member
12 posts
Newbee

ugh yes, they are, I am planning a Chinese banquet for a Friday night and a regular ceremony on Saturday and I can just picture them arriving late in droves, mid-ceremony.

Post # 13
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Well, in defense of the people who skip ceremonies (yes, I did it once), ceremonies are boring.  It’s difficult to make them interesting.  I don’t expect many people to skip mine because I have promised quick deity-free vow exchange, then we walk to the next room of the mansion for cocktails and dinner.

For the record, Chinese families aren’t the only ones notoriously late for important functions.  In my hispanic family, we call it Mexican Time and have a big laugh about it, but it’s not funny, it is frustrating.  I hear this is common in the Indian community, as well.

Post # 14
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I love love love weddings! Church weddings, outdoor weddings, out of my culture weddings, beach weddings<– outdoor LoL… I will be there. Being Asian and knowing that we NEVER make it to any function on time I make it a point to be at these types of events on type. Maybe I’m just one of those one in a million person that knows how much weddings cost and that it’s not some house party that you show up to whenever you want. The only wedding I arrived to late was because there was a major accident on the freeway. I love my culture but for our weddings it feels like nobody cares. "We show up whenever we want." One of the weddings I was in the the bridal party has to greet the guest when they walk it to the restaurant. When there’s no set time for dinner people strolled in from 6-9pm! It was very frustrating!

Does your family know it’s going to be an Americanized wedding? Maybe they’ll make it a point to make it on time. gLuck!

Post # 15
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I think I may be in the minority on this one…but for my wedding, I had a tea ceremony a few hours before my western ceremony (at the hotel a few hundred feet from the venue) and ironically about 90% of the guests showed up for the tea ceremony and the remaining 10% were at the venue in time for the western ceremony.  So I don’t think All Asians Run Late, I just think you may need to put in some cushioning time for those that you anticipate may/may not show up.  But I don’t think having the "late comers" stand for your ceremony would be bad.  I know if I showed up late and ended up having to stand, it would be my own fault so it would not reflect badly on the bride/grooom.

Post # 16
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

i married into an asian family and i had just the opposite problem…. all the asian guests came WAY EARLY for both the ceremony and reception (actually, especially the reception – the venue was still trying to set up and the guests were already there!)

i’d never heard of this asian stereotype before. now i’ll have to pay attention to see if my family’s the same! 

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