(Closed) Do BM dresses need to match my dress?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hello Domino …not necessarily.  Most peple like it that their wedding dress match their BM dresses but this is up to you.  i personally think that the choice of your BM dresses will go perfectly well with your wedding gown.  

Maybe i could suggest that you do part of the top of BD dresses with a little bit of lace if you want the BD dresses to complement your gown.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I hate advice like that….it’s just so unhelpful. All it does is cause brides to second guess and doubt themselves.  Your bridesmaid dresses don’t have to look anything like your dress and I think you could run the risk of being too matchy matchy if you try. Go with what you like and what looks best on your bridesmaids.

Post # 5
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

An aside: the advice on this board from a certain group of people always tends to be "go with what you like."  I don’t know about you but I like lots of things, some of them probably not the best ideas, which is why I would ask for advice to understand what is traditionally done or what would look best.  (Sorry for the hijack there.)

To answer your question the dresses do not have to look alike but it usually looks more harmonious to have a similar feel, style, or level of formality to them. Like if you were wearing a formal ballgown and had your bridesmaids in seersucker haltertop sundresses it might look somewhat off.  Same if you were in a casual short gown having your bridesmaids in long gowns would also look weird.  I think as long as the level of formality and general feel is the same that is the key thing.  Some brides like to keep a similarity in style or an element of the dress design such as all strapless, or the bridesmaid dresses in a duller fabric than the wedding dress so the bride stands out, but that is solely a matter of preference.

Post # 6
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

If you look at old wedding pictures (think 1960s and earlier) you see BM dresses that looked a lot like the wedding dress, with maybe a less full skirt, a hat instead of a veil, and in a color instead of white.  Of course you’re not going to do something like that!  I agree with vyeta that as long as your BM dresses aren’t a distinctly different level of formality you are probably fine.  There’s no need for them to be a scaled-down version of your dress, and if you look at most bridal party photos I think you don’t generally see some distinct "echo" of the bridal gown in the BM dresses.  Most brides are more concerned with getting a style that looks good on all their BMs.  Sometimes brides go with multiple dress styles but in the same fabric and color; sometimes with the same style but in multiple colors or shades of the same color.  So you really have a wide range of choices. 

It sounds like your BM dresses are a very simple, classic style, and will therefore go quite well with your dress. 

Post # 7
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think your article is wrong and it’s not necessary for your wedding gown to match your BM dresses in any way.  You’re the bride, you’re supposed to stand out.  It’s difficult enough to find BM dresses in the COLOR you want, let alone trying to match them so some element of your gown. 

I agree that the level of formality or casualness should match up if possible, but I’ve been to beach weddings where the BMs had nice slippy dresses and the bride had a gown that was a bit more elegant and it still looked beatiful. 

But it’s not necessary to carry a common element unless you want to.  Think of the weddings you’ve been to, or just flip through the bridal mags.  Most gowns that brides choose do not have similar textures, colors, etc. to the BMs. 

Post # 8
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I think it’s supposed to match moreso in terms of theme if that makes any sense. For example, if you’re having a classy/vintage/unconventional/etc.. dress – pick matching BM dresses. I don’t think the actual style of the dress (strapless/not strapless/A-line) has to match, it’s moreso the overall look of the dresses that should be similar.

You should definitly stand out – that’s the whole point. Just pick something that "complements" your dress, not necessarily "matches" it. I think of it as the BMs are supposed to be the corps de ballet – the supporting roles, and if they are dressed too unlike you they will end up standing out, not you.

Does this help at all?

Maybe you could send us some pictures of your possible options

Post # 10
Member
9 posts
Newbee

My bridesmaid dress’ look nothing like my gown. I took my girls shopping and said anything you want… I gave them their choice of 3 colours and let them go crazy. They’ve ended up with short black dress’ with rouching up the entire front and a 2" strap. Next shopping trip we’re doing accessories. Since they picked black dress’ they get to play up their shoes and jewelery with bright colours. My stance is it’s going to be a long day, I want them to feel comfortable, and confident. It shows in pictures when your bridesmaids don’t feel good about themselves.

Post # 11
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

I never even thought about how my bm’s dresses would go with mine (for one, mine has pickups… and I was not going to ask them to do pickups). I just picked dresses that I thought were pretty and re-wearable and in the right color. It was more important to me that they sort of blended well with each other (I opted against identical outfits) as I figure, I’m going to stand out no matter what, so they might as well look pretty in each other’s company.

Post # 12
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’ve always thought it didn’t have to match except for the "feel"..For example, if you are having a vintage inspired wedding and you’re donning a bird cage veil with a 50’s style wedding dress or something, and your bridesmaids have a pick up style gown, then yeah, but otherwise, no!

 

Post # 13
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I didn’t think there was a “rule” or anything but my shoes were the same color as the bridesmaids’ dresses. It’s your wedding – do what you want!

(my shoes)

 

(the girls’ dresses)

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