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My FI proposed to me this past April with a diamond e-ring, very traditional. She said she always dreamed of buying a girl a diamond and how could I argue with that! (I love them and am extremely femimine and traditional)She takes a traditionally "male role" when it comes to this.
She, on the other hand, hates all jewelry but will eventually wear a plain wedding band. I did not "propose" to her yet and am wondering if I should. I want to maybe for Valentine's Day. I would love for her to wear a plain band, or I guess the wedding band she will have, as an engagement ring, especially since we are having a long engagement. She suggested maybe on her right hand until we actually get marred (well, civil unioned in IL).
Since it is a band it would look like a wedding ring whereas mine looks like a typical e-ring. Just curious what other couples do-two proposals, two e-rings, one e-ring, traditional or non traditional rings, etc.
@Cupcake2012: That is so sweet that she wanted to get you a ring! My FI and I both where rings - and they coordinate - we went together to look at them and then went separately to actually purchase them. They are different styles, but both have sapphires (mine in the band, with a diamond center stone and hers as the center stone with diamonds in the band) I think that you can do whatever works best for you ladies as a couple - perhaps though two thinner rings (one for engagement and one for wedding, that way she ends up with two as well? Just a thought) Since most people don't assume that I would be with a woman, it was really important to me that our rings coordinated in some way (though recently at a jewelry store after hearing that our rings matched someone still asked if we were sisters and said how cute it was that we matched our e-rings- WHAT?!? haha!)
We also did two proposals - though within a couple of weeks of each other. My FI really wanted to propose first, but in the end they both ended up a surprise and were perfect and special in their own way.
Congratulations and good luck!!
@Cupcake2012: I'm like you - girly girl with a traditional ring. My wife did the proposing but she also wanted a ring just not the traditional solitaire like I have so I had one made for her in the style that she wanted and her wedding band matches mine. When i gave her the ring, I also proposed but she proposed first :)
I don't have any of both our rings with wedding bands together, but hers matches really nicely.
you should definitely get her a ring! does she like bling? every girl wants diamonds!!!
I think I commented in another thread, but I proposed to my love with a plain band (which is what she wanted.) But she'll be getting a delicate diamond semi-eternity band as her wedding band, so her set will look like this:
I am trying to talk her into a blingier band but she likes a more casual, understated look. : )
The way we did the proposal is that we set the date, planned a special day, and when the moment felt right we pulled out the rings and proposed to each other, one after the other. I actually went first because she was nervous. It was really perfect for us.
Here's my set:
@MissKabers: That's awesome as far as the coordinating diamond/sapphire rings! I love that. :)
@chicagogirl6: Your rings are stunning! My FI hates bling, won't wear anything diamond or even resembling them. . .hahaha . . I know! I was going to get her a platinum band, and we have talked about that and she seems to feel comfortable (as long as its comfort fit).
@moonadea: I love your joint proposal. Made me heart flutter when I read it. She wanted the proposal to be the more traditional male/female style with her doing the proposing, but months later, I want to also!!
Thanks for all of your input so far everyone. I just love hearing the romantic stories(and the ring porn!) !!
I love reading this thread too! I love how everyone's story - both proposal wise and ring wise is so unique! The rings are absolutely beautiful!
Here is a picture of our rings together (before we had my setting fixed though - the jeweler had messed up a bit and made it a bit chunkier than i wanted, now the stones sit more flush to my finger and the diamond is higher)
We had originially planned on doing cooridinating bands, but I think that my FI wants to go with something a bit more understated - whereas I defintely want to add to the bling! ;)
@Cupcake2012 - can't wait to hear how you decide to ask her! :)
@MissKabers: Oooh thanks for the ring porn. I was hoping for that!! I love them. I will keep everyone posted. I guess since I never proposed to anyone before I want it to be super unique and surprising. Her proposal to me was very creative.
I just wanted to chime in here too. My boyfriend wanted a traditional proposal (with him doing the proposing) but I wanted to propose to him too (I don't think him being a guy makes much difference in this case) but he's not into jewelry and wouldn't want a ring. So I bought him an engagement guitar and had a metal pick engraved with "I pick you too" (really cheesy I know). I hid the guitar in our apartment and put the pick in a ring box with a note saying where to look for the guitar. I carried it in my purse and when he proposed, I proposed back to him with the pick. When we got home he found the guitar.
Does your FI have any interests that would have something sentimental that you could give her for an engagement present? You could then suprise her with a proposal and an "engagement gift" instead of a ring.
Just an idea :)
@Crabbabs: Lol! "I pick you too." That is so brilliant and I love it. How did he respond?
Add me to the list of girls who wanted a traditional e-ring! My FI proposed with a solitaire that we picked out together. She does not have an e-ring but will wear a plain wedding band. We thought about an e-ring for her but she would agree only to a plain band (no diamonds/gemstones) and I was worried it would just look like a wedding band. I like your idea of putting it on her right hand.
@moonadea: Both of your sets are gorgeous!
@MissKabers: Those are amazing! I love how they "match"!
@LittleRiver: It is a gorgeous stone, and welcome to the Bee. Yeah I think if she then swicthed it over to the left when we got married it would feel more "official," and the right hand would feel more like an "engagement" ring. . .
@Crabbabs: That is such a cute story!! How sweet of you! Haha she does want a new Mac laptop . . hmmmm
And since everyone is getting their ring porn in (thanks, btw! I can never have too much) Here is mine . . . Hope you bees don't mind but I felt left out, haha
@Cupcake2012: Of course we don't mind. And I want to see a handshot!
I was the first one to bring up how it wasn't exactly "fair" to expect him to buy me an engagement ring so I think he was expecting some sort of engagement gift. He was hinting at a laptop, but I wanted to get him something he would keep forever (since I would keep my ring forever). When he opened the ring box and found the pick, he thought the pick was his only present because he didn't understand my note. Once I explained it to him, he was very excited and totally suprised.
I love your ring! I'm sure a Mac laptop would be a big suprise! You could also do a nice watch, necklace, earings, locket, a piece of art, something like that.
@Crabbabs: That's true, although she refuses to wear any jewelry whatsover except for the one plain band-and must be comfort fit. I like rings bceause they do last forever. This type of thing should last forever :)
Here is my best handshot. I reallly need to have my brother take some good ones with his fancy camera, and photography is a hobby of his. I am desperately in need of new ring porn. I want one of her and i holding hands as a close up, showing the ring-or rings if I do get her one!
My gf proposed to me with a silver necklace from Etsy, after singing me an original love song on her guitar. (to read the full proposal story, go HERE)
Just yesterday we found our rings!! they are beautiful, Celtic knot design, and best of all, the total for both will come UNDER budget. :)
When we first discussed rings, we toyed with the idea of matching, but it seemed we both wanted different styles. But we both fell in love with this one, so now our rings will match! that feels really special to me.
I blogged about it here: http://westcoastbridetobe.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/ring-ing-in-the-new-year/
We kind of went to the other extreme. Neither NotFroofy nor I wanted an engagement ring. We waited, and exchanged plain gold bands at our wedding.
We both proposed to one another, and we both got solitaire engagement rings. But we are both very, very, very feminine and couldn't imagine not having a "classic" engagement ring.
We also bought the same wedding band! We got a deal on 2 eternity bands from Pompeii3, since they were sold as a set (I think designed for a woman to wear one on each side).
@mtnhoney: Congrats on getting your bands! It's so cool how you ended up with the same ones!
@2dBride: I have seen your bands and I love them and their story. :)
@eagle: I think that's really neat, that they were sold as a set!
I am so far thinking of a valentines day proposal and a plain platinum band from blue Nile. That's where she got my ring. I cannot wait! I have a lot of thinking to do to make it creative and exciting. It helps hearing everyone's stories! Thank you!
A couple ideas... what about mixing metals? Giving a rose gold band, even something very thin... possibly you could squeak a tiny diamond in there too?
Or, something with a design? Then if you wanted to match you could each have one, and you can pair yours with your engagement ring and use it as a wedding ring and she can get another slim plain ring to for her pair?
Oh and one more :)
A hammered look? These have three, you can give one as the engagement ring and pair with a plain, or stack them like above.
I am interested to know what you think! Keep us posted.
Another option would be to give her a sterling silver, titanium, stainless steel, etc ring now, and then for the wedding "trade" her e-ring for an exact copy, but in platinum. That way she gets to wear a ring now, in the style she likes, but she still gets a special ring at the wedding. Then she can move the e-ring to her right hand, or wear it as a necklace, or just keep it somewhere safe for sentimental purposes.
What about this one? Its 14k and its only $119. It still has a diamond, but it could be worn as an e-ring and then paired with just a plain band when you get married. I think its a really nice ring for a great price.
@stevensgirl:Thanks so much for the beautiful ideas. The closest she would possibly like is the last one. I LOVE them all! She dislikes rose gold :(. Hahaha I really love it though. They make my band that matches my e-ring in rose gold and I considered mxing metals.
@moonadea: You know, honestly this is a very good option I am considering. I got an awesome, shiny, comfortable titanium band for my stand in to wear while working out, etc. She likes it a lot and has made the same suggestion as you when we discussed it a while back. Then she can get the special one on the big day, and it will be shiny and brand new. Unfortunately I noticed the platinum scratches easily and fast on my ring and would like to place a brand new shiny ring on her finger on the wedding day.
@eagle: I love that one also!! It kinda sucks that she is so rejecting of all bling, well, all jewelry really, because I cannot be as creative with her ring. I also do not think I could get her to wear two rings, even though I love the idea for her. I love her so dearly though and of course will make her happy and comfortable with the ring no matter what, even if it's completely different than what I would choose. Thank god for the bee to get to look at all kinds of awesome rings and ring porn though!!!!
@Cupcake2012: get her a small plain band that's just 10k gold or something. Then upgrade for her wedding band to platinum? My friends (males) just did this! They got each other cheap10k plain bands (around 120 each) and are getting Tiffany platnium bands for the wedding bands.
@eagle: Aww that's so sweet! Yeah i am starting to think this is the way to go, maybe get her the same as my stand in ring, or 10K gold, like you said. I would love to be more creative and get something girlier like the ones posted, but it's just not her.
@Cupcake2012: then don't waste your money on it. Especially since she wont wear it when she has a wedding band, right? Check out Pompeii3 - they are cheap! We got our bands there.
@eagle: Thanks so much for the advice. I have seen your sets and love them! I like how the center stones are different shapes but the rings are the basically same solitaire.
My ex fiance and I did one engagement, two rings. We were young with no money so we each had plain bands to start with, but had she not cheated on me while I was in basic training, she would have had a ring with a small single diamond inside the ring (like what most men would wear if they had a diamon) and I would have had a traditional engagement ring to match my band.
My partner and I both wear sapphire and diamond engagment rings, although they do not match. My partner allowed me to chose the ring of my dreams and proposed to me first. After that I chose a sapphire and diamond ring for her that matched her personality and I proposed to her. She wanted a flat ring, something without prongs. We have matching wedding bands.
My FI and I both have matching sapphire and diamond engagement rings. Our rings basically look like Princess Di/ Kate Middleton's ring, but my FI wants me to point out that she proposed months before Prince William did. The story of our rings is a funny one:
We love diamonds, but we as struggling grad students, we couldn't afford the size diamond that we would have liked. So, in order to get bigger rings with more bling, we decided that when we got engaged, we would go with Sapphire. I found her ring first (I loved it at first sight) but wanted to wait a few months to propose. Meanwhile, she went to the same store to find a ring for me, and not liking anything, she decided to make a custom ring. She worked with the jeweler for weeks, but by the time the stones were to be ordered it was clear that the ring she designed would be too expensive. My Fi was at a loss when the sales person said, "You know, your girlfriend really loved the ring she bought for you. She kept putting it on her finger and saying how pretty it is. Maybe you should just get her a matching ring". So, my fiance did. A few weeks later, my fiance proposed to me with the ring I had picked out for her. I was so excited! The only drawback was that I knew that meant she knew which ring I had picked for her. :( I proposed to her two days later.
We have matching engagement rings, but we decided on different bands. I wanted something substantial, and she, being petite, wanted something more delicate.
@Angharad77: What a great story!! I would love to see pics of your rings!! :)
My fiance asked if he got a ring when we were shopping for mine. I was slightly taken aback as I had never really thought about it--but it makes sense that the other person gets a ring too. The engagement ring was initially sort of a proof that a dude could provide for a wife--if he can drop the cash on jewelry then he's doing ok. Since most couples today are not really doing that sort of nonsense, the engagement ring has become more of a symbol of committment and both should get one if they want. So I ended up shopping around and he picked out a thin, plain titanium band. Some people think it's a wedding band but who cares--soon enough he *will* be wearing a wedding band (the fate of the e-ring has not been decided yet)
If your fiance doesn't want to wear a ring, you could get a watch or necklace or anything nice that she will treasure/use forever.
@zomgwut: That's really cool that you got him one. I love that he wanted to wear something before the wedding-shows his excitement and commitment!! Thankfully she has chosen one she likes and just yesterday was asking me the status of it and how long it will take to order, etc, so I think she is coming around and getting excited about the idea of wearing something.
FI and I both wear engagment rings and we're buying matching wedding rings. We decided to purchase e-rings that fit out individual personalities and than get wedding rings that bind us.
We aren't really diamond girls, so FI Carnival opted for a claddagh inspired heart ring and I opted for a rhodolite garnet ring because it is my birthstone and berry is my favorite color. I'll post IRL pics later. We are thinking about making our own bands for each other, so they'll just be hammered platinum--we're still deciding.
@Carnival_Bride: WOW, both of those are sooo beautiful! I love them and hope you share about the band making process when the time comes!!
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