Post # 1
When the fiance and I were planing our honeymoon, we knew we wanted to go someplace tropical and relaxing. We also wanted to go someplace we hadn’t been before. Kauai seemed like a natural choice because it fit our budget (we’re in California, so Hawaii is closer), it’s the only island we’ve never been to in Hawaii and we both have a soft spot for Hawaii (my fiance is part polynesian and I’m Filipino, and we love the multicultural Asian/Polynesian vibe there). We’ve been all over Mexico, and don’t want to stay in California for our honeymoon.
Then, someone we know of accused us of copying her, simply because she had gone to Kauai on her honeymoon THREE years before. When we decided on our destination, we never even thought of this person. We never thought “so-and-so went there for their honeymoon” while we made our decision. She never crossed our minds. But when she found out about our honeymoon plans, she was livid!
Now she tells everyone we’re “copying” her, and she always makes snide remarks whenever our honeymoon comes up. She always keeping tabs on our honeymoon plans. I mean, seriously? I get how sensitive people can be over the actual wedding details (like colors, theme, etc), but honeymoon destinations, too? I mean, no one will be there on our honeymoon except the future hubby and I, so I don’t understand how she can be so territorial over that. Is it just me, or is she overreacting?
Post # 3
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Usually it’s the other way around…people encouraging you to go where they went so they can tell you all about it.
I would tell her to shut it. Seriously.
Post # 4
I think she’s totally overreacting!! Does she think she’s the first person to ever honeymoon in Kauai? I think it’s completly inappropriate for her to be making snide remarks.
As long as you and your FI are happy with a Kauai’n vacation then don’t worry about her comments!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
She is completely overreacting. Why in the world would she care where you’re going on your honeymoon? A real friend would have started offering you advice if she found out you were going to the same place that she did.
Post # 6
How immature! There is no such thing as “copying a honeymoon,” just ignore her, she’s obviously petty. If she told me what she’s telling your friends about you copying her, I would think she’s a little crazy. If your honeymoon location is perfect for you two, don’t be dissuaded and make sure you have a great time!
Post # 7
OMG, that’s absurd! I’d do what you had planned. Who cares what some (obviously insecure and jealous) girl thinks. I’m sure anyone on the receiving end of her rants about it thinks she’s crazy. First of all Halwaii is a huge honeymoon location, if you’re copying her you’re probably copying a few others you know. And if you have to avoid going anywhere has been traveled to by friends, you may be limited to like… your house! That is so strange, you should go there and send her a postcard! haha
Post # 8
she’s being totally irrational and unreasonable!
[Your in-laws going to the same place as your honeymoon AT THE SAME time….that is unreasonable, but it’s a story for another day]
Just try to ignore it as best you can…and mums the word. Don’t talk to her about it or tell her your specific plans(where you stay, eat, what you do). If she offers advice I would politely decline and say you’d like to plan things on your own.
Post # 9
That’s stupid. Tune her out and don’t let it get to you. Everyone else will see how ridiculous she’s being.
Post # 10
You should have said “Oh, I forgot you went there! Gosh wasn’t your wedding like 3 years ago? How time flies”
Post # 11
Okay, TONS of people go to Hawaii and Kauai for their honeymoons. So either there are a million people copying her or she’s being rediculous. Ugh.
Post # 12
LOL, while you are likely justifiably miffed and a little hurt by her behaviour, I am willing to bet that everyone else around her thinks she is a flaming idiot and is laughing at her. That is so weirdly immature, her social stock must be plummeting.
Honestly, next time she says something like this in front of you, put on your most saccharine sweet smile possible and say “well, of course we are copying you! You are such a great role model of style and grace.”
BTW, I also love moderdaisy’s response.
Post # 13
that’s silly. she doesn’t own that honeymoon. when we were planning our honeymoon, everyone we talked to kept telling us to go the same place that they went to because they all loved their honeymoons so much, they wanted us to have the same great experience.
Post # 14
I think she is being wholely unreasonable and little bit crazy. I know quite a few people who’ve honeymooned in Hawaii. Would I avoid Hawaii for that reason? NO! She must be jealous or petty or something. If she were a real friend, she’d be offering you advice instead of accusations! Go ahead with your plans. I am sure all your real friends are behind you 100%! 🙂
Post # 15
She’s crazy, pay no attention to her.
Post # 16
LOL! Thanks everyone! These are my thoughts exactly, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, having never planned a wedding before. I’m encountering so many feelings and reactions from other people I never thought I would. When I told this person where we were going on our honeymoon, her face just fell. I mean, she looked really hurt. I asked her what’s wrong and she said, “Are you sure you want to go on the same honeymoon we went on?” I told her that I had forgotten that she had gone there too, and it won’t be the same honeymoon at all. For whatever reason, she got really upset about that remark. You see, she was the kind of bride who for the whole year she was engaged and the THREE years since she got married, nearly everything she’s talked about was her wedding and how great it was. Now that I’m engaged and planning my own wedding, she constantly makes remarks as if her wedding is the benchmark or standard for the ideal wedding, anything else is inferior. After four years of this crap, I kind of started to tune her out. So, yeah, I did forget about details of her wedding.
Now she tells people things like, “so-and-so is going to Kauai and doing the exact same thing we did,” or “so-and-so are going to Kauai because we went there,” which of course isn’t true at all. I know she’s just being insecure and immature. And I kind of did tell her off by saying things like “don’t flatter yourself. No one cares where anyone goes on their honeymoon. Seriously, your wedding is done, it’s over! It’s been THREE years! Enjoy your MARRIAGE!” I don’t know, but I guess I hit a really sensitive nerve with her and she snapped! So now she’s constantly talking behind our backs and criticizing and making fun of our wedding plans. But, yeah, I do my best to ignore her and I think everyone else thinks she’s crazy too.