Post # 1
So my fiance and I are trying to keep our guest numbers down (as I’m sure you all are!) so we are keeping the Plus Ones to married and engaged guests, and guests who are living with their significant others. People who have been dating for a “long-time,” if we’ve met the sig. other, will get a Plus One. If we have never met the partner, then sorry, no. Children aren’t invited to the reception, but are welcome at the ceremony. The only children at the reception will be my and my fiance’s nieces and nephews (so no young cousins, guests’ childrens, etc)
Here’s my question: do members of the wedding party get an automatic Plus One? Because one of my bridesmaids keeps talking about how she and the other single bridesmaids will “have to find dates.”
My question is: Do single bridesmaids and groomsmen get an automatic Plus One?
I was not planning on giving any of the single wedding party members a Plus One. Actually, at this point, the wedding is 5 months away, even if she or any other wedding party member started dating someone now, if they aren’t engaged or living together by the time the wedding invitations go out, then they wouldn’t be invited.
Am I wrong? What do you think? Are you giving your wedding party Plus Ones?
Post # 3
you are going to get different answers on this, but i think we are going to apply the same rules to our wedding party as we do for all guests- if you have a SO, they are invited, if not, no. the only exception is if you dont know anyone else coming to the wedding.
Post # 4
My answer is yes, if someone is being your Bridesmaid or Best Man or Groomsman, IMO they deserve a plus one. But that’s just me.
Post # 5
@cbee: agree. Mainly cause we had a lot of family and I didn’t want them to feel too uncomfortable!
But ultimately, it’s up to you and there is no wrong answer!
Post # 6
I tend to say no. I’d stick with the original plan – married, engaged, living together or together a significant period of time. Keep it uniform across all couples and I think you’ll be fine. If you start making exceptions, that’s when it gets tricky.
For my example, 2 of my 3 bms are either engaged or have been dating for over a year, but the other is single. The 2 will get plus-ones, and I’m pretty sure the 1 will not.
Post # 7
Its up to you but I’m giving everyone in the wedding party a plus one.
Post # 8
We didn’t have much of an issue with this, as the wedding party members without a SO were my sister and my brother-in-law (and both insisted they were fine without a date). Personally, I don’t know why you’d want to bring a date to a wedding you were in unless they were friends of people there. You don’t get to spend much time with them in the scope of the day. You will probably get a lot of “you shoulds” here, but I say no.
Post # 9
I think all single people should have the opportunity of bringing a guest, since a wedding is such a social atmosphere that’s better as a couple or with someone else. I think that with all your bridal party has probably spent on you and your wedding that they definetly should have the courtesy of bringing a date, even if you don’t know them or they haven’t dated very long. Unless you’re doing a head table, because then they can’t really enjoy the company of their SO anyway. But if money is really tight I may try to cut it in other places than guest list.
Post # 10
@luckyprincess: while giving everyone a plus one would be lovely, some of us simply do not have it in our budgets to do so. also, others may want a more intimate wedding sans people they don’t know. to each his own, though
if you can, though, then you certainly are a lucky princess! =)
Post # 11
Every case is different, but here’s how I see mine…One of my MOHs is single. I think if I said “guest”, she’d feel pressure to scare up a date whether there was anyone that she really wanted to go with or not and would have to entertain a stranger all weekend instead of hanging with her good friends.
I made sure that her other (single) best friend was invited, and instead of doing a head table, since the other attendants are in relationships, we will sit with our partners and/or friends…Fiance and I with our parents, and the attendants at a “friends table”. If it’s a situation where one of your attendants might be the only single person, then maybe consider it so that they can socialize without feeling like a “third wheel.”
Post # 12
IMO, they deserve a plus one.
Post # 13
My BMs will not be bringing plus ones their date for the day will be the Groomsmen that they walk down the aisle with. And they will sit at the attendants table near the high table
Post # 14
We are doing almost the exact same thing as you in terms of the plus ones and we are not giving our serial-bachelor/bachelorette groomsmen/ushers/bridesmaids a plus one. My guess is that by the end of the night, they’ll be each other’s plus-ones. 🙂
On another note, I honestly don’t get why people in the wedding party want a plus one unless they’re actually with someone? They don’t really get to see them until after the dinner and during the ceremony and dinner, their date has to sit with people they’ve probably never met… I would feel awkward and be so concerned about the date that I probably would not even have a good time. For instance, my Fiance came to with me to my friend’s wedding that I was a bridesmaid in after we had been dating for about 8 months (we get serious fast). It was his first time meeting all my close girlfriends and their SOs. While he ended up having a good time, I was preoccupied the entire ceremony/limo ride/dinner that he was having a good time and comfortable, that it took away from the fun.
Post # 15
@cheapchicbride:thats a good point that ive never thought of before
Post # 16
Lol! Thanks – I have a smaller family so lots of room for plus 1’s 🙂
Like I said, though, if you can’t cut something else out then the guest list is the way to go for sure. Does it seem awful and snotty if I were invitied without the option of a guest and I saw $100 centerpieces and she’s wearing a $3000 gown that I would be a little snitty about it (in my head, not out loud)? But yeah, if you’re making it a budget friendly wedding OR someone else is paying for it then I get it 🙂 I’ve just never really experienced an invitiation as a single without ‘and guest’ but I think it might be regional from another thread I was reading.
Either way, even if you don’t invite +1’s for everyone I still think the bridal party deserves it! Usually they’ve paid quite a bit and I think have earned the ‘and guest’ invite.