Do / did you feel obligated to have your siblings?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m a bridesmaid in FSIL’s wedding but she won’t be one in mine. My bridal party is significantly smaller than hers. I don’t feel an obligation to have siblings in the wedding party. I believe those who are nearest and dearest to you should stand beside you on your wedding day, be that siblings or not. 

Post # 3
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club

I think siblings should be included, but I grew up hearing that from my mom too. My friend got married last year and didn’t include her FSIL

Post # 5
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I was not asked to be a BM in FSIL’s wedding or vow renewal and she will not be a BM in mine. My sisters will not be BMs nor junior BMs. I enjoy my FSIL, but we’re not that close. My sisters are at the lovely pre-teen/teenager years and sadly I cannot trust them to not fight and cause havoc. I will have my 3 closest friends as BMs/MOH. 

I agree with a PP that it should be those closest to you, whether that’s siblings or not. My mom really wanted my sisters to be BMs, but they’re a bit young, and I didn’t want 5 BMs. I’m involving them elsewhere. 

Post # 6
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I never had siblings in my bridal party in my first wedding because there were too many of them between the two of us. Someone’s feelings would have been hurt being left out, so it was better to have none of them. There was no way I was going to be one of those brides with half the  wedding in the wedding party.

Post # 7
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

We didn’t have siblings in our bridal party and our siblings didn’t have siblings in theirs. I know some people think it’s a must, but so long as it isn’t one sided – one sibling thinks it’s a must and another doesn’t – there is no issue with not including them.

Post # 8
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My parents were adament that my brother be in the bridal party, and i choose to ask his wife, and fis sister, but fi’s 3 brothers arent going to be Standing with us. they are civil with one another, but not particularily close. He would rather have his buddies standing with him, whereas i choose family and my bestie. I think in a few years when his group of friends changes/evolves hell regret it, but it was his decision.

Post # 10
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We wanted to have my brother and his sister, as we’re good friends. It didn’t seem fair to include DH’s sister but not his 3 brothers, so we had them join the bridal party as well. My brother and DH’s oldest brother were groomsmen, his sister was a bridesmaid, and his youngest brothers were ring bearers. 

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think it’s really up to the individual couple. Luckily for FI and I, he only has a brother, and I have two sisters and a brother. At first he wasn’t sure why my brother needed to be a groomsman as they aren’t besties (but get along well) but once I explained that it was important to me and that I would have included any sisters he had, he was fine with it.

I think as long as the couple does what works best for them while still giving consideration to whether or not their choices of wedding party will cause hurt feelings, then that’s the right thing to do. But if they want a small wedding party and adding siblings would mean adding several people, then I would really hope that the siblings wouldn’t get offended since the wedding is not about them.

Post # 12
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have no siblings so for me it wasn’t an issue.  Fi has one brother as well as a half brother and sister he’s not close to. He was always going to have his brother stand but felt pressure from his mom to have him as best man. I don’t have my fsil standing as I don’t really know her. 

Post # 13
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it honestly depends on family dynamics and wedding party size. My sisters, brother’s GF, and FSIL will be a part of my bridal party, as will my FI’s two brothers, my brohter, and my brother in law. We wanted to include our family. However, my FI’s brother’s wife and I are not on friendly terms, so I opted not to include her in my bridal party. 

In my experience, it is common to invite your FI’s siblings to be in your wedding party. I never questioned that FSIL would be my bridesmaid. It’s a nice honor to extend when you have the room in your bridal party. However, I am close with my FSIL and we have a good relationship, so I was excited to ask her. I will admit I somewhat judge when a girl will have a large party, but didn’t invite the sisters of her FI, but I understand when you need to have a cut off and you don’t want women in your party you aren’t close to.

Post # 14
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

MrsUPS:  Yeah I’m probably just having one. If it was like four or more I would agree that it would be nice to include siblings. 

Post # 15
Member
998 posts
Busy bee

I’m not a fan of putting siblings in the wedding party out of pure obligation. I have a sister and two brothers, and at this point, I could see my sister as a bridesmaid. I was her MOH, but I know that she gave me that position because she did not want her then-friends to compete for the title, and because they would all understand not being MOH if the bride picked her only sister for the role. Granted, I won’t be getting married for another 4-5 years, so there is time for things to change, but the bridal party is for your nearest and dearest, and my sister doesn’t exactly fit those qualifications at the moment.<br /><br />On the other hand, DBF believes that siblings and in-laws go in the wedding party because that’s just what you *do*. As a result, I am pretty sure his party would include his two brothers. Since I am not the closest with his siblings, I am glad that he has no sisters that would expect to be on my side.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors