Post # 1
Ok ladies, I won’t lie, I really want diamond earrings for Christmas. In fact, receiving beautiful jewelry will never get old!
But… FI is really into electronics. You could call him a real ”Techy”. And I often deny him of the newest things that he would like to have. Such as, and primarily, a big screen 3D TV… Now we already have a wonderful, not very old, flat screen LCD TV (47” !) that he uses for his gaming (PS3). And I have never badgered him about buying new games and such… He is pretty good though, hasn’t bought a laptop even though we need one, he doesn’t always buy a new smartphone or anything like that, even though he would really like to always the lastest technology…
Guys, should I feel guilty accepting this beautiful jewelry while he isn’t getting his ”goods”?
To clarify, I don’t get jewelry ”all the time”, only sometimes.
Post # 3
yes I see them as essentially the same thing. TVs to men = diamonds to women! At least in our family!
Post # 4
No, cause that brand new latest TV will be half the price next year and ancient in 3-4 years. My basic staple nice jewelery (and handbags) will be timeless for decades to come.
Post # 5
The 3d tv is probably the same price as your earings, im not saying go get him the tv but maybe get him a new smart phone or the laptop you guys need. If I knew my FI was getting me earings like that id try to match it somehow
Post # 6
Yeah, I don’t think it’s fair for you to get all the jewelry you want and for him not to get the electronics he wants, because jewelry is just as expensive (often times more so) than what he is asking for. And you don’t “need” either of them, so I don’t think it’s fair to make it seem like your wants are more important than his.
Post # 7
I would feel pretty selfish if I were getting even the occasional high-dollar gift while DH got no gifts. I think it’s got to be balanced. And I think it really doesn’t matter what the gift is— doesn’t make a difference if you like jewelry or spa treatments or concert tickets and he likes electronics or event tickets or golf clubs. It’s got to be balanced.
@pinkshoes: why should the resale value of a gift item be a factor? The fact remains that the OP wants diamond earrings as a gift, so they’re not being bought as an investment. Her Fi should be able to enjoy a gift of similar value too, regardless of how much it will cost in two years or what it can be sold for.
Post # 8
@pinkshoes: I like the way you think, lol. 😉
Seriously, though, I voted “Yes, what’s fair is fair.” Why can’t you both get what you want?
Post # 9
A gift is a gift and DH and I try to spend around the same amount on each other, regardless of what the gift is.
Post # 10
@fishbone: She wont need new diamond earrings ever again once it’s bought. But he maybe “need” the latest and greatest big screen TV every 4 years. She can use those same earrings down the road in 20 years, he certainly wont be watching that same TV. So in terms of whether or not he should get his latest gadget would never “even out”, unless she constantly gets nice new pieces of jewelery all the time whenever he wants to upgrade some electronic.
If you want to just look at a dollar amount of a gift and call it even, then a very basic level it’s the same. But my husband and I look at the bigger picture of how these two items would effect us as a unit to determine if the gift, even though its for one person, meets the needs of us as a couple. This would my our thought process. Would my jewelery directly bring him enjoyment? No, but he’ll know I won’t be splurging on something like that again for a LONG time. Is his 47″ dated enough to warrent a 60″? What would the two of us do with 2 big screen tvs? It sounds like it could be a quite unecessary, so no, he could wait on the TV. By the logic of just going on equal cost, what if he wanted a new TV every year, and let just say it cost the same as what he is buying you…the cost is the same, but that just wouldnt make sense.
Post # 11
Buy him what he wants, he is buying you want you want, as long as it falls around the same price range.
Post # 12
I voted, “Yes, what’s fair is fair.” I don’t think you’re selfish at all!
DH has been dying to get me the Kindle Fire when my Nook Color dies but it hasn’t died! lol He is always into the techy gifts even after he asked me what I wanted for Christmas which was another stacker for my wedding bands.
We’re not concerned with the dollar amount on the gift because in the end, it always balances out. If I get something big for Christmas, might mean I might get something small for my birthday or Valentine’s day.
Update: After reading other posts, maybe I’m reading your question wrong? Does this mean your DH will not get a gift?
Post # 13
Why don’t you guys split the Christmas budget so you each can get something you want? I might have read your post wrong, but it sounds like you are getting earrings for Christmas and FI is getting nothing?
Post # 14
No I am getting him something (I don’t know what yet…).
Post # 15
I say let him get the TV. I was in pretty much the same situation, DH wanted a 60″ 3D TV even though we already had a nice 47″. Since I was buying a lot of stuff to redecorate the house that we didn’t really “need,” I caved and let him buy the TV. Honestly I’m glad I did, I enjoy it too and at least he can’t complain anymore! haha
Post # 16
@O.My.Heart: Um, I’m on the men’s side of this equation. 😀 But, yeah. If you want (and have asked for) fancy pants, completely decorative jewelry, why shouldn’t he be able to get nice quality, completely useful, electronics?