- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
Okay, so I’ve posted about my FILs before, and I’m sorry! But I don’t have another outlet that they won’t see. So here goes…
I am so sick of my FFIL offering unsolicited advice on how I/We should live our lives. Yesterday was a holiday, and if you read my previous post, you’ll see that that means we are obligated to spend it with them even though we both worked the night before and SO worked that night.
I hadn’t made it through the door all the way yet before we were being told what we needed to do. “You guys really need to adjust your sleep schedule!” This comment was because we didn’t wake up until 6pm. Well, I work 12.5-13 hour shifts with an hour drive round trip to work. There really isn’t that much time to adjust one way or the other when you account for getting some food at some point. But apparently we need to adjust it so we can be present for holiday gatherings that I said over and over that we’d be at “IF SO gets the day off.” (Which he didn’t, but FFIL corners him at work over and over until he just agrees.)
Following up on that, he said I needed to adjust my sleep schedule to be awake during the day during the times I’m not working. (I just switched to nights.) Don’t see how when I sleep affects him on days we don’t have plans with them.
Anyway, so that’s how it started. Then he said we needed to think about having kids now. We are already in our late 20s and already missed the best time to have kids (early 20s according to him) so we really need to get on it. If we keep waiting we won’t enjoy our kids. To this we said we wanted stable careers first so we could financially enjoy our kids. So then he threw in the whole risk of problems with getting pregnant as we get older. (I’m 28, SO is 26…we hope to get married within the next year and then start TTC).
Next it was a life/death suggestion. We should really have our affairs in order in case we die. In fact, his family has had funeral plots since he was a kid and now SO’s mom will be buried there too. We should really consider getting one with them now before it’s too late. To this we said that neither of us want to be buried because we feel that it’s a waste of money and land. Of course then he tells us that it’s best to be buried so people have a place to visit once we’re gone. It would be selfish to do something else.
That was all last night. In the past he’s told me where I shouldn’t live. Apparently I should not live in a big city because I’d get stressed out. He thinks we need to stay in this town…not close to this town, but IN this town where there are no jobs in SO’s career choice and there is nothing to do. He also has told us we need to buy a house within the next year and not rent anymore, even though we both agree it’s more practical to wait until SO finishes school so we can go where his job takes us. He also said that SO is wasting his time in school and should just stay at his entry level factory job because “it’s a good, stable job.”
So basically he is told me/us:
- When we should sleep
- When we should have kids
- When we should make plans for death
- What our plans should be for death,
- Where I shouldn’t live
- Where we should live
- What career SO shouldn’t pursue
- Where SO should choose to work for the rest of his live
- When we should buy a house
And these are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. I always let him know my side when he suggests these things. But really, it drives me crazy and I’m afraid I’m going to snap! I don’t go over there and tell him what he should do and when he should do it. Why does he think it’s okay to tell me/us?