Post # 1
We have decided to have our wedding at a beachfront holiday home. The beach it’s on is mostly made up of holiday homes. We will be having between 30-50 guests, the wedding house can sleep 12 which will mostly be my friends who are coming from overseas. My FMIL said that if we’re expecting people to travel there then we also have to pay for accommodation. That means renting out 3-5 houses for our guests. If people rent between groups it would equate to around $25-40 per night per person (New Zealand dollars but comparable to US) It’s a 4 hour drive for us and our friends in our town, and maybe a 4 hour flight and 1.5 hour drive from the airport for some of FI’s family who live down south, we are giving people 12 months notice so I feel that even though it’s probably an expensive trip, it is a beautiful area and if people choose to spend a few nights they would really enjoy it as a holiday as well as coming to our wedding. The whole reason we’re doing this option is because it’s cheaper than hiring the venue we wanted. If we hire and pay for several houses ourself it’s just going to double our budget. FMIL is making me feel like I’m being a bridezilla because I expect guests to pay. Am I?
Post # 3
I think it’s fine. For most weddings guests pay for their own hotels. The prices you listed seem very reasonable, I’ve paid much more than that for wedding accommodations.
Post # 4
I’ve never had our accomodations covered by any couple for any wedding we’ve attended. It’s always been assumed that the guest will cover it themselves. I think this may vary culturally but for the most part, guests do expect to pay for themselves. It’s up to them to decide if the cost of accomodations is worth flying out or not.
Post # 5
Yes always. I’ve spent so much money paying for accomodation for friends weddings.
However, I’m gifting my parents a room for after the wedding as part of our thank you to them.
Post # 6
@Snowden: That’s ridiculous, of course you are not obligated to pay for their accomodations. I’ve only heard of maybe hosting a dinner the night everyone arrives for a destination wedding….but we sure aren’t! We’re in the same boat as you: the entire purpose of our destination wedding is a small guest list and lower costs.
Post # 7
Guests pay for themselves. It is polite to invite out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner, since they are travelling. Beyond that it is definitely not expected that you will pay for their lodging.
Post # 8
Glad it’s not just me being rude! We’re hiring out our house for 4-5 nights to double as our honeymoon but most of the time will be spent with our guests on day trips, dinners, beach trips etc
Post # 9
I’m going to a wedding out of state next month and I have to pay to get there and pay for a hotel for the weekend.
Post # 10
I’m payihng for the wedding party and my and finace’s parents, but no matter how much you do you will always have people who complain. For example one of my bridesmaids got upset that I wasn’t paying for a seperate room for her mother, who at the time I hadn’t even invited. You don’t need to pay for them at all!
Post # 11
@Snowden: No couple has ever covered even a little part of my accomodations.
Post # 12
Our guests are paying for their accomidations and most of them are traveling 12+ hours to get there.
Our guest list was cut by almost 1/2 because people couldn’t afford it.
Post # 13
I WISH accomodations were that cheap per night at any wedding I’ve ever attended! Even the time I flew from the US to Italy to attend a wedding, I paid for my hotel room. I would be shocked (and thrilled, obviously) if it were paid for me, but I’d never expect it.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Snowden: Not sure if etiquette is different in New Zealand but in the USA that is considered a destination wedding and it’s appropriate to expect guests to pay for their own accommodations.
Post # 16
I voted for “it depends”…because most of our guests will fly from other countries (Brazil, Holland, Russia, France etc..) And we wil help with accomodations to some of them (who are not able to afford it, but we really want them to come over)..