- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
My FI & I are from two different countries. Picking where to do the wedding was very difficult. We decided to do it in his home country, because it would be hard for a lot of his family and friends to fly to the US for the wedding, both due to cost of travel and obtaining visas. However, because FI has a HUGE family, and I wanted a smaller, more intimate wedding (since even though it is easier for my family and friends to travel financially, it still isn’t something everyone can do so my side of guests will be lopsidedly small), we decided to do it in a resort town about a six hour drive from his hometown. This way, it will be a destination for both families, although a bit easier for those on his side.
Now, this resort town is rather expensive since it is a popular DW spot. Also, doing the kind of wedding I envision, is expensive, too. We are looking at $25,000 for about 75 guests. I want to do something beautiful and memorable, since so many people are traveling so far for the event.
I have been talking to a lot of people who have been warning me that because people (especially my guests) will be spending money to travel for the wedding – about $1,000-$1,500 per person for the trip – I probably won’t receive gifts, or at least not as much as I would receive if they didn’t travel.
What is the general ettiquette rule for gift-giving at DWs? I don’t want to sound gift-grubby, the truth is that, I think when you do spend a lot of money for a wedding you do hope to recupe a portion of the cost in monetary gifts or gifts for the house. I do feel like, to some extent, a wedding is to celebrate but also to help the new couple with items to begin their life.
I just feel worried if we are going to spend ALL that money on a wedding (when we could do so much more with it) especially if we won’t recupe any of it. In some ways, I am more inclined to do a wedding in my hometown, to avoid that, but then FI’s family will feel shafted – and even doing two weddings, one in each home town, will probably end up being the similar price as one DW and the point of a wedding is to bring both families together, so I am leaning towards one big one.