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if other cousins get "& guest," I think this cousin should also get the privilege. if other siblings get "& guest," I think FSIL should too. all is fair in love and weddings! just my opinion!
The other cousins aren't getting and guest.... my sibling is 16 and his other sisters are 14 & 18 and they are not bringing their boyfriends? This is a strictly family only wedding... we have THAT many family members.
I would say def. no "& guest" to the cousin then. If you make exceptions with one then it could possibly lead to more tough decisions! Explain to FMIL your guest list situation and that you already could be over your guest limit! She should understand.. :) I think you should wait with your FSIL and if it gets serious, invite him.
Now, how the heck do I change my vote?????
Haha it's okay. It's very hard to draw the line on who's in & who isn't! I definately didn't think the guest list would be the hardest part!
I understand! I'm lucky in that our venue accomodates 300 guests. I'm actually in a similar situation because half of my guest list will be travelling as well!
good luck with your predicament :)
PS I got engaged in Myrtle Beach! I love it there!
Nope! Don't invite their BFs. No one else is bringing their SO (including your BMs) & you said you cut a lot of family members to get the guest list as it is... so unless these people are engaged or living together: they don't get an invite.
If they aren't happy about it, too bad. Explain that you're already 20 people over your venues max or tell them they'll have to share a seat & split a meal.
With your guest list already high I would tell her your delimma and say maybe you couild not add them to invitations and get back to her after the rsvps. she should understand.
I would try to find a way to invite them. This exact same thing happened to me: my husband's cousin was newly dating someone, and I didn't include the new boyfriend on the invite. Well, he showed up anyway (miscommunication where she asked my MIL, who is her aunt, if he could come, and she said yes without informing me). At the time I was indignant---how could she bring her boyfriend of 5 months to my wedding without express permission!? Now I am totally red in the face. They got married in August---only 9 months after our wedding. And all I could think about at their wedding was how I had been so uncouth as to not invite him to my wedding....
I understand the limitations of your venue---I would just explain to the FMIL that you want to invite them but that since you didn't know about them before, you want to make sure there is going to be enough room before you say yes and they buy nonrefundable plane tickets only to have nowhere to sit at your reception. You'll probably have word on whether it's possible sooner than you think.
I would say that if you are not extending +1s to other family, then NO - you should not add them. But you could wait and see if you get more declines than expected and extend a +1 later if you have room.
I think if your FMIL made the request, you should take it into consideration. I completely understand wanting to keep the numbers down, but I'm pro +1, for the sake of the guest fully enjoying themselves and being comfortable.
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So I get a call from FI's mom which was absolutely the best conversation we've had yet! We talked about more than just wedding stuff & was kind of "bonding" which is what I have been wanting. BUT while we were talking she mentioned that we would need to make sure we added & guest to one of FI's cousin's invites for her boyfriend & now that FI's sister is dating we will need to add him to the list as well.... while it was something I had considered FI's sister JUST (in the last week) added to her facebook that she is in a relationship & FI had only heard about it when his mom told him at dinner last weekend when we were visiting. Now if in 6 months when the wedding rolls around she's still with him I can see her wanting to bring him but should I add him this soon? We already have a guest list of 170 and are crossing our fingers that 20 RSVP no since we have a 150 max. (highly likely since it is destination for the guests). There are many other long time family friends or more distant relatives I have left out in order to maintain a sane guest list. I mean my bridesmaids aren't even bringing their spouses (their choice). The other thing is we were kinda wanting this to be more of a family thing not a big invite everyone you know thing.... although if he's her "one" I don't want to look back and regret not inviting him. I don't know.... your opinions?! Is it totally wrong of me to think of not inviting him?