Do I apply to this job? FI thinks "No"…

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

YES! I went through this with my DH in the beginning of our relationship. There was a period of time where he was underemployed, and I made more. I still make more. To be honest, it all led to a conversation before we were married about this, and if he could handle this as likely it would always be this way.

Bottom line, a city job is more money, more security and retirement focused, This will benefit not only you, but him and your family in the long run.

Post # 5
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@BlueBelle0927:  Definitely apply for the job! It’s not like applying will guarantee getting the job, anyway. If you do get it, great, you’ll make more. If you don’t, oh well, no harm done. But I think it might be good to have a conversation with your FI about the fact that you’ll probably make more than him for a good portion of your working lives, since you are going to have a Master’s degree. 

Post # 6
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Creiddylad:  +1

He’s gonna have to get over his hurt ego. This is why a lot of women won’t date a man who makes less (or at least significantly less) than them. “significantly” less is obviously subjective. You’re on the path to be making good money…if he has a problem with $5 more now, what’s going to happen when it’s a lot more than that? I think he needs to find a way to get over it or it’s definitely going to impact your relationship. As it is it seems like he’s trying to hold you back a bit here.

Post # 7
1589 posts
Bumble bee

The new position sounds better overall except is there less flexibility with scheduling and hours?  How important is that to you? 

Post # 8
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If the only reason he doesn’t want you to apply is his “manhood” being threatened, you should apply because that is dumb

Post # 10
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Apply anyway! It will help him get accustomed to you making way more than him!

Post # 11
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@BlueBelle0927:  Absolutely apply! I would be upfront with your FI though and not go behind his back or anything. It’s always a good experience to apply for jobs and go through the resume/interviewing process even if you ultimately don’t decide to take it. One thing to consider is how flexible the new position would be with your grad school work!

Post # 13
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes! Apply of you want to apply! FI should have no issue or say in the matter tbh unles it would mean a pay cut or move or significant change in his life.

Post # 14
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I would be really annoyed and hurt if FH discouraged me from applying for a job because me earning more would hurt his ego. I presume you’re going to combine finances when you’re married? It all comes out of the same pot. He needs to get over this and fast. 

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors