Post # 1
Over the summer (and a few months before my FI proposed to me), a close friend of mine told me that she and her boyfriend were getting married (yay!)… She told me that they would be having a small destination wedding in 2012 and that we were invited.
Now my FI and I are engaged and we too would like to get married in 2012. We are having ours locally (at least.. in comparison to theirs.. 3hrs by car vs. 6 hrs by plane!) and would like to book a venue soon. We will be inviting many of the same friends who will be invited to the destination wedding.
Should I ask my friends if they’ve set a date?? I don’t want to seem nosy or pushy or rude, since they haven’t really talked about it recently. I also don’t want to accidentally have our wedding right on top of theirs (if they even have a date!!) so our friends won’t feel pressured to choose between us.
What do you think?!
Post # 3
I say ask them – a nicely phrased but slightly awkward question now could save a lot of headache and hurt feelings later on.
A couple of friends of ours got engaged shortly after we’d set a date – we’d booked the venue and cleared it with our wedding party, but hadn’t sent STDs or anything. I felt so completely awkward emailing about it, but ended up just giving her a heads up that I’m super psyched about their engagement and am inviting them and a bunch of mutual friends on our date. I was nervous for days that I’d been out of line or too territorial about our date until she responded and was happy I’d let her know.
Post # 4
Haha yea I just feel awkward about asking them since they haven’t brought it up recently. I’ll probably spend 2 hours editing an email to them asking them about a date.
Post # 5
I would definitely ask them. Don’t stress – it’s not a big deal and, as a bride, I would appreciate being asked in advance.
Turns out I got married on the same day as an acquaintance of mine. We wouldn’t have invited each other to our wedding but, we did have some of the same guests. Fortunately, mine was early afternoon and hers was early evening and they were only 20 minutes away from each other. So, it turned out okay in the end and those guests just rushed from my reception to her wedding but I would have loved it if we had both realized it ahead of time and one of us had made an adjustement to avoid the stress on our guests.
Post # 6
ask! it’s probably not as big a deal as you’re making it out to be (unless they haven’t set a date because they’re thinking of ending it, which is HIGHLY unlikely). just explain you want to set a date but don’t want to interfere with theirs! i’m sure they’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness!
Post # 7
I think you should definitely ask them. It shows that you’re being considerate and that you’re making an effort to plan around them.
However if she doesn’t give you an answer or puts you off, have a date or two in mind and let her know so at least she doesn’t make you wait for forever to start planning your own wedding.
Post # 8
I think it is perfectly fine to ask her.
Post # 9
She’ll probably appreciate the fact that you were considerate enough to ask instead of just saying “well screw her!” and booking a venue without any regard for if they’ve made plans or not. 🙂