Post # 1
I was just recently in my Maid/Matron of Honor wedding (as a bridesmaid) and she contributed $40 towards the hair and makeup bill as a gift to the bridesmaids. Due to an issue with the salon, I was not able to get my hair done there the day of the wedding. I have REALLY long thick curly hair and I found the stylists to be incompetant when it came to working with curly hair so I basically got up left and went somewhere else- and paid 100% out of my own pocket. Her wedding day came and went
Now my wedding is approaching. My FH and I are having our wedding about 2 hours away from the city where we live in a rural wine country setting (gorgeous). We have decided to pay for 50% (of the discounted overnight room accomodations ($70) at the venue we are having our ceremony and reception ( it’s a B&B) for my Maid/Matron of Honor, I have no other bridesmaids
Do I buy her another gift on top of that? Or is that enough of a gift? I technically did not get a gift from her wedding, but that’s not the part I’m concerned about. I know EVERYTHING is TACKY when it comes to weddings, but I honestly wanted to make sure that was a generous enough gift. Would you?
As far as her expenses towards my wedding, I feel like Ive tried my best to be fair. I put together a pinterest board for her with different dresses that I feel would work great for my wedding, with the cost being a wide range from $40-$300 and told her that she can pick any dress, and any shoes that match and just let me know which one she picked. So I left that up to her
My Bridal Shower is being taken care of by my family
My Bachlorette we are doing something really small- a habor cruise and then dancing, cost should be about $40 per person. I wanted to keep everything reasonable
Thoughts and feedback appreciated
Post # 2
CG4268: I think it’s fine. Maybe just get her a card and write her a really heartfelt note? I would honestly prefer a bride to take care of some of the expenses of a wedding (such as covering the cost of the dress, or the cost of the hair and makeup, or the cost of the hotel, etc.) rather than just getting me a modge podge of random gifts. I would be perfectly happy with having my room paid for, and as long as you get her a card, I’m sure she’ll be happy with it, too.
Post # 3
MrsMeowton: I was planning on writing a note either way 🙂 I have never been married so I dont know what people expect as far as bridesmaids gifts and I didn’t want to get something monogrammed or anything like that because that is not something I would like. If I was going to get her a gift I would shop for her like it was her birthday- and get her something along those lines
Post # 4
Sounds good to me! Or you could put a welcome bag in her room with a cheap bottle of wine and a card. Some simple along those lines.
Post # 5
The room is great, but I would throw in a gift she can kind of keep after the wedding. With having it in wine country, I second the bottle of wine.
Post # 6
CG4268: I think that no matter what you decide, it’s really important to not compare what she did at her wedding with what you will do at yours. If you feel like your gift is sufficient, then leave it at that! If you’re feeling like maybe she needs a little something extra, go for it. But it’s not a competition so I wouldn’t even worry about it.
However, if this were me, since you’ve made an effort to keep her spending minimal, I would maybe just get her a little something tiny since she’s your only attendant- it doesn’t even have to be wedding related (it’s not like you have a whole bridal party to match up).
Post # 7
We covered the cost of most of our guests’ rooms (the venue was a ranch property with cabins), and never considered NOT getting our wedding party gifts because of that. I agree with PP that you also shouldn’t compare what she did at hers, with yours.
Post # 8
How about since you’re paying for the room, maybe do a cute little welcome basket with a card for when she arrives?
Post # 9
I’m also in favour of the wine bottle from your venue or the surrounding area. Her gift -$40 towards hair/make-up – does not sound like much of a gift to me, and the fact that her contributions to your bridal shower and bachelorette are minimal/non-existent doesn’t make me feel like you owe her much, in a sense of fairness. But not everything is fair so your generousity with the accommodations and a bottle of wine should more than suffice.
Post # 10
I dont consider paying for something to help with your wedding (her accommodations) a gift so I would get her something that’s affordable to you and heartfelt. I wouldn’t compare it to how much she did or did not spend, though. One of my bridesmaids got married before me and I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and she got me a KEYCHAIN and contributed nothing towards any expense I had. I still got her a gift that I spent a few hundred on and I think it was heartfelt.