(Closed) Do I deserve this?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly, based on the information you have presented here, he sounds very controlling and I am nervous for you. Someone that is that level of controlling (I expect a clean house, hot meal on the table, laundry done 2x/week) – well, I’ve seen people like that become abusive down the line and you are already expressing that you feel like a dog he can kick whenever he wants. Not good.

You need to do some serious soul-searching and figure out if this is what you want to deal with for the rest of your life. In my opinion, you can’t expect someone to change after you marry them – you should be ok with the person they are when you marry them and if you can’t deal with the other stuff, perhaps you need to postpone the wedding while you figure things out.

It’s also concerning that you feel your family and friends would tell you to leave him if you expressed doubt about your upcoming marriage. From my experience, friends and family sometimes get a sixth sense for things and if your friends and family would tell you to leave him, that tells me that they have their doubts about him too and may feel that you deserve better. This is a guy who tells you that how you feel doesn’t matter when you are trying to express yourself…frankly, I wouldn’t care if he is Prince Freakin’ Charming when things are perfect…someone who is supposed to love you would care about your feelings enough to listen, at the very least!

Love isn’t easy and life is even harder – if you only like him when things are “perfect” that’s going to be a problem because you are going to run into lots of difficult times during your life that you can’t control and if the person you marry isn’t loving and supportive during those times too, it’s going to make it very miserable for you and very difficult for your marriage to survive.

Post # 4
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Is the work stress going to be ending soon, or is this your new life?

Post # 5
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think there are some fundamental differences in you expectations as a couple, and you should seiriosly consider putting your wedding on hold. This problems don’t fix themselves, instead they take communication and most likely counseling. If he isn’t willing then you can not be willing to stay in the relationship.

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