- 3 years ago
- Wedding: February 1994
I’ve been on-and-off friends with a woman we will call Meredith. Meredith and I were close friends in high school. She had always been a little crazy, but I just brushed it off as attention-seeking behavior… We were in high school, it’s practically expected! By crazy, I mean she’d make up elaborate stories about having sex with much older men, being raped, being very ill with life threatening conditions, or even long, drawn-on pregnancy scares. The stories always changed, and were never consistent so I identified pretty early on that most of what she was saying was garbage. However, I couldn’t just discard her as a friend… I am fiercely loyal!
As I was saying – I attributed the behavior as attention seeking, and sort of pitied that she felt she needed to come up with these awful stories. It seems she didn’t care if she was receiving negative attention; she was just pleased to be receiving any at all!
As we entered University, things got worse. The stories escalated on the “life threatening diseases” front, and she would “faint” all the time, mostly when there was a large audience around. Now, I’m not a doctor, so I have no clue if these fainting episodes were real or not. What I do know, is that the university kicked her out because she was making too many scenes and was being considered a “liability”.
I moved away from our hometown shortly after she got kicked out of university for a few years. We grew apart. To be honest, it was nice to have an excuse to gain some distance between the two of us.
When I moved back to my hometown, she was engaged to (and had just bought a house) with a man who suffers from bipolar disorder, and who self-injects testosterone for body building purposes. From what I understand, that is a very dangerous and stupid mix. Since there was enough drama in her relationship, there was no need for any made up stories. To be honest, she seemed much more geniune during that relationship. She had been my only bridesmaid!
Needless to say, her toxic relationship eventually ended (and badly, at that)! Shortly after, the made-up stories started flooding back in.
It is now to the point where everything is ALWAYs about her. Any time anyone says anything, she either has to be completely contradictory, or launch into a long winded story about something that has happened/is happening to her. Most of the time, they are blatant lies, and at best are complete exaggerations.
I don’t know how to go about handling terminating or salvaging this friendship. How do I break up with a friend? Should I confront her and see if I can make her stop lying to everyone else, and most importantly, herself? Or just tell her off and cut her out? We have a lot of mutual friends now, and I would hate to lose them all also. I’ve never been brave enough to voice that I think she is basically a pathological liar. Or from the little I’ve learned of psychology, someone with “Histrionic Personality Disorder.”