Hear me out...I'm having a destination wedding a little less than a year from now. I've given personal notice to many of my guests (verbal save the date, if you will). I'm only wanting 40 guests total, with 20 of the guests being mine. A quarter of my guests are immediate relatives, a further quarter are participants (friendors, attendants, etc). We will be setting up the wedding website in the next 2-3 months. I will use the website to organize RSVPs. Essentially, everyone invited will have all the details long before the invitations ever go out (as they will have had to schedule vacay time, save for flights, etc.)
To me it seems a little pointless to purchase and distribute invites because (1) they won't contain any information that is not explained in MUCH more detail on the website; (2) my guests are coming from abroad, does it really matter the address of the reception venue, for example? its not like they have to transport themselves there; (3) they will likely discard or forget to bring them along anway...pretty un-green if you ask me.
Other than the ritual of opening the mail and saying "awww, Overjoyed's invites are so cute! Look!" can anybody help me see the point of my sending invitations?
I think that I would still do an invitation. Just to confirm that people are invited, the date, time, etc. And a way to get the website out.
ETA: I don't think it needs to be anything really formal or expensive though.
I think that's fine for 40 guest's if your guests are fine with that because a lot of people still wait for that formal invitation even though you have already verbally invited them I had a mix up with my invitations but I had already verbally invited my guests but I was still getting calls saying I never received my invitation yet :) but if you have a website just let your guests know that there will be no formal invitations due to the fact that's its a small destination wedding and the information needed is provided on the website:) good luck!
Yes, just buy one box of 50 from Target, print and format the invitation as a destination wedding giving the website for guests who wish to travel to the wedding. I would also use the RSVP cards, just format them as well for the destination wedding.
to confirm that folks are invited. Ok. Not bad. I'll stick that one in my cap. Thanks.
At least do something handwritten. People need a confirmation that yes, it is still happening at the time you said, and yes, they're still invited. Plus, something with the exact time everything is giong to happen on it will help guests stay on time for everything.
My sister had a similar wedding and skipped the physical invites. Instead she send us emails detailing all the information we needed. It worked out wonderfully, but she's not a very formal person.
I agree with the confirmation reason. I wouldn't believe I was invited to the wedding if I never actually received a tangible invitation.
If being green is your hang-up, have you checked out paperless post for awesome online invitations?
An email, a FB event, a $0.25 post card, a carrier pigeon note, I do think SOMETHING to remind them is needed, but you don't have to have a big fancy formal invite.
@chasesgirl: I second this. I don't think anything fancy and/or formal is needed but definitely some sort of invite whether email, facebook or otherwise.
@EffieTrinket: +1 to this. Don't go crazy or have it be expensive or anything, but I would definitely give them something to notify them that yes, it's still happening and yes, they are still invited.
lol @ carrier pigeon! Thanks for your thoughts ladies, I definitely needed to hear some other opinions on the matter. Having been an event planner so long I was so married to "THE" way to do things and now that it's my turn I actually find myself questioning things, lol. Go fig.
Also, I hadn't thought of Target. I was going to graphic design them myself and print them out on 123prints or vistaprint or somewhere (that way, my LD boo can also just order however many he would like and distribute them to his own guests).
Interesting that PP said she wouldn't believe she were really invited unless she received a tangible invite. I can't actually recall whether I received a formal invite to ANY of the weddings I've attended in the past few years. I was close enough to the couple that we kept in touch throughout the planning and I was very aware of the time/date, etc. So thanks for that added perspective!
Would you ladies indulge me in another question, then? This is a destination wedding for September 2013. When is the proper time to send the invitations? I'd normally give at least 6 months notice to account for the expense and travel arrangements...but no one will be receiving the invite and go "OMG! Overjoyed is getting married? I had no clue!" lol.
If all your guests are fully aware that they're invited, I'd just send out your formal invites the usual 6-8 weeks in advance.
Id do an email. Youre right people wont bring it with them, but they may reference it for calendar purposes.
@Overjoyed: With regard to timing I'd do it 3-6 months in advance for a DW.
ETA: because you want confirmation that people are coming likely more than they want an invitation. It's a lot harder to deal with wishy washy guests at a DW
I like a paper copy just to have all the details in one place. Even if there was a website, I'd probably still print it anyway.
We didn't do physical invites. It was small and only close people were invited. DH's step mom (great woman) was like "you're NOT?! but how will people know how to get there!". We'll tell them, we have internet :), which she uses A LOT. She just shook her head and said we were weird... but perfect for each other. That's the worst we got.
You'd know your guests better. Even DH's mom and her long time boyfriend who aren't very tech savy didn't have a problem with it (and they live about 1.5k miles away). Even with a wedding out of town (about half an hour), we were the last ones there :).
I say send an email "save-the-date." Then 6 months before you can send more detailed information.
You could email them. I would personally send out a little postcard-type invite reiterating the website info. You can skip the envolopes, lace, RSVP cards, and extra stuff, but still make sure everyone has it in writing that they need to RSVP on your website by such and such date. Some people would forget stuff like that- I know I'd forget to RSVP without an invite to tack to my fridge.
Punchbowl.com has some pretty gorgeous e-vites if you want to go that route.
I think that it would be both cool and appropriate for you to send your invites at the same time that you release the wedding website. Heck, the invite and the info for the wedding weboste could basically be the same thing! People need the info in advance, as you said, and that way you can check the invites off your to-do list and be considerate of your guests. But I think you should send something, whether it's an actual physical paper copy of something, or an e-vite with a direct link to the wedding website.
yes, I've decided I'll be sending a nice save-the-date email whereby I will also release the wedding website. In the email, I'll include a little blurb about "if you'd like to help us minimize our carbon footprint and do not require a hard invitation, please reply directly to overjoyed 'nem dot com). Great ideas, ladies! So glad I asked you all
On the contrary, I think wedding websites are pretty useless - they seem so generic and impersonal. If I was invited to a wedding via website, I'd roll my eyes big time. If your wedding is so personal and intimate, why can't you take the time to extend a tangible invitation to your guests?
i'm in a similar position, and i actually found our invited helpful, as it served as a reminder for people to get their butts in gear and book before the deadline.
Personally, I would prefer a paper invite - I'm not on my computer that often, and if someone tells me to check out a website for information, I'll put that on my to-do-but-never-actually-get-done list. Also, as another poster said, I probably wouldn't be certain I was invited unless I received either an invite (electronic or paper), or I was close enough to you that you were saying to me "The wedding's at this day and time, we'll see you there, have you booked your flights yet?" And even then I would prefer you tell me that you're not sending out paper invites, otherwise I might wonder why I hadn't gotten one and begin to question whether I had misunderstood whether or not I'm invited.
Chances are your guests aren't as forgetful/neurotic as me, but if I'm coming to a wedding, I'll need it in writing!
@Overjoyed: I had a small DW and I sent out invites. Even though I called everyone on my guestlist and set up a website, people were expecting invites in the mail. Just makes it more official in their eyes. I spent like $150 total for my invites. You can go even cheaper than that if you find groupons for vistaprint.
send an email will do as well. as there is not that many people.just confirm to them again nearer to the date as well
I also think you should do invites. If you are trying to save money, you can use Vistaprint to make your own. They have TONS and I mean TONS of coupons for them out there. You can save big time and make some really cute invites. I got a lot of compliments on our magnet save the dates we did with them. I also did matching invites which I'm sending out in a few weeks. I spent less than $200 on invitations and STDs including postage. We sent out 50 invites.
We're using Paperless Post - there are a variety of free emailed invitation formats you can choose from. They have this really cool animation where it looks like an envelope opening and an invitation sliding out. I think that might be a good solution in your case... slightly cooler looking and more formal than just an email, but not a waste of paper/money.
As someone who has been a guest of a wedding with a similar situation... I say to send a paper invite that can include your website for more details for your guests. I would have greatly appreciated that. It would have been nice to receive a physical invite to remind me to check for details on your website and to book all the travel arrangements.
The DW I attended only sent an evite out 6 months prior to the wedding. The wording on the evite made it very unclear if there was a formal invitation to follow with all the information (like hotel and time of actual wedding) So it was very very very frustrating for me as a guest. They also had an RSVP deadline on the evite so it was really confusing all around. Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE include the hotel price. We were not given this information, or information of other hotels near by (so we all had to stay in the same hotel as the wedding) and boy were we all shocked to receive a $500/night bill!
I had the same situation. We had to get deposits in for the trip before we could send out invitations so we had to email everyone on our guest list with a link to our wedding website. What we did instead of the traditional invitations was just designed a save the date magnet with pictures of us on it that said "We are so pleased to invite you to our wedding May 13, Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico. Please visit _______________ for details". I think it's expected to send out something, but it doesn't have to be a formal invitation in this situation.
We sent an email a year in advance with the the dates and booking info for the wedding. I will then send about 2 months before the wedding an invite for all the guests that have booked to come to the wedding. I got an mazing passprt type invite made and I love them :)
@Ellegee: touche on "if your wedding is so personal and intimate, why can't you take the time to send your guests a personal invitation?" I can dig it, but my primary concern was that they would be pointless...no way I can include even a fraction of the pertinent info (airline discount, hotel room block, activities throughout the weekend, ground transportation info) on a hard invitation unless it were a booklet, lol. Would it truly make sense to send a pretty piece of cardstock that essentially says:
"you are cordially invited to the event you already know you're invited to (because you are my sister/mother/best friend) I realize that none of the questions you really have are answered herein so therefore, please check my thorough and detailed website"
LOL. The Bees have offered some helpful insight though, and I'll be taking bits and pieces of the ideas presented and craft something that I think would make my guests feel special, and also fully informed. Thanks again.
We thought the same thing, but opted to do super simple invites/save the dates. Just a boarding pass with the date, location and wedding website, that way people had an official invite and a li k to all the important info and RSVP
Also a paper invitvations lends to the seriousness of the event. I know for me personally a lot of my relitives would not take things seriously with out them and treat it as a casual affard (maybe I will come, we'll see). We are choosing to have the ivitation set the tone for our wedding
I agree that you need to remind everyone of the details. You could always do an email invite.
@SupermansSweetheart: that is VERY fly! (excuse the pun). Thanks for sharing!
I don't think things like this are ever "essential."
However, my best guess is that if you want to make your life simple, you should send out somthing simple. A pretty one page invitation that addresses the basics (including who's invited, the when and where, and the website addy). I figure that it would avoid a lot of "where's the invitation" discussion and ultimately be simpler. Plus, often close friends/family like to save the invite as part of their photo album, and since you're having only close people, maybe the bang to buck ratio is high?
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