(Closed) do I force a bridesmaid to buy dress she doesnt like?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well. . Its YOUR wedding. Im sure you guys can find something to come to an agreement with πŸ™‚ Tell her you will try and find something that she likes, but if you cant, she just going to have to deal with whatever you pick out. You only have so much time. Thats what I did. I had a BM dress picked out, and one of my girls didnt like the price, so I told her I would keep looking around for her, but we couldnt cut it close and we ended up getting the dress that I wanted. 

Post # 4
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not one to force people, either, but ultimately I believe it’s up to the bride to decide what the bridesmaids wear.

Post # 5
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s is your wedding and you are the one who decides what type of bridemaid dresses you want for your vision of the day. One of my bridesmaids didnt like the dress I want them to get but it was 4 to 1 in that decision so she basically has to suck it up and get the dress if she wants to be part of the bridal party. Its not like you are asking her to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress she doesnt like..$100 is very resonable.

Post # 6
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you are within your rights to ask them all to buy the dress you like, as long as it is within their budgets and it isn’t just plain mean, like forcing someone who is self-conscious about a weight problem to wear a skintight nightmare.  If it’s just a matter of personal style preference, the bridesmaids should ultimately wear the style you want, and I don’t think you should feel bad asking them to.  If whimsical and flowy is more fitting with the atmosphere of your wedding, as opposed to something formal in taffeta or satin, you should just tell your BM’s that is the dress you’ve selected.

My sister chose, in my opinion, a pretty awful color to wear for her BM dresses, but I’m not complaining – I’m wearing it because she’s the bride and on her day I can wear a color I don’t particularly like for 6 hours.  πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well 1. I think it’s rude for her to say she doesn’t like it. I never could have imagined telling the bride of the wedding I was in I didn’t like the dress.  2. It’s your wedding, she doesn’t get the choice. Sorry, that’s what comes with being in a wedding. lol thats what I think.

Post # 8
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

It sounds like bridesmaid #3 may not be able to agree on a dress- majority rules. You’re being very considerate about it, but considering that the dress is well below the budget, and realistically-how often are they *really* worn again, you can go with the style you want. If your vision for your wedding day isn’t as formal, she has to accept it.

Post # 9
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have worn more than a few BM dresses that were not my style/color/fabric/etc…and I have done because I love my friend and she is worth it. If they have commited to being there for you on your day, then I think (hope!) they will let you take the reigns when it comes to deciding what dress to go with.

Post # 10
Member
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think we all try our darndest to make everyone happy and it just doesn’t always work. There’s always someone who is less than thrilled with the choice but they kind of have to just deal with it when they are out numbered. For one, I would explain that your wedding is not the “traditional satin bm dress” type, I know mine’s not. And that isn’t your vision. Also, if all the girls like it but her, I would say yes, tell her this is what everyone likes and you like it to so that is the dress that has been chosen. If you are willing to compromise you could say ok everyone can pick their own but they have to meet these guildelines… But then you have the other girls that are fine with the dress, trying to choose a new one. I’d say tell her to suck it up.. in the nicest way possible of course πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You asked her to be a BM, therefore she must have some level of importance in your life. That being said, she shouldn’t even make a fuss, and just wear the dress that you request. That’s part of the gig that she signed up for when she agreed to be in your wedding. I will never understand why people give brides such a hard time with this. I have been in at least 10 weddings, and never said a word about the dresses I was asked to wear.

Post # 13
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

@bummbledbee:  I think most people know when they agree to be a BM that the odds are 90% they’re not going to wear that dress again.  πŸ˜›  She can always try to re-sell it.  (And I doubt she was ever going to wear a prom-like formal satin gown again anyway!)

πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@GreenGables:  lol, yeah I was going to say the same thing! 

Post # 15
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I agree; marjority rules, here.

Post # 16
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I been a bridemaid multiple times and I always laugh or smile when the bride is like well these are great because you can wear it again! I’ve worn one bridesmaid dress again lol. I think you are being more then fair. I hate long and flowy dresses I’ve worn them in two weddings. All I ask is that the bride take our feelings into consideration and she keep the cost down, sounds to me like you have done both. Also since 2/3 like them it makes sense to go with the majority.

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