Post # 1
So I am attending a wedding this weekend. I have basically helped her plan it since day one! Given her all advice she wants, needs. Watched her boot out two BM’s. Her FI emails me for advice and questions. I bought her a HUGE shower gift. And I picked up the reins for her bach party since her BM’s are out.
I have been her planner and coordinator, and will be her day of coordinator as well. (for free)
Do I still buy her a wedding gift. Or is this all enough? I don’t want to be rude, but I feel drained.
Post # 3
After all the time and money you’ve already spent, I wouldn’t go completely empty-handed but would buy a modest gift like a nice picture frame.
Post # 4
I think a nice card would be sufficient. I doubt your friend would be disappointed after all of your help!
Post # 5
I don’t think it needs to be a lot, but something. Ideally when you agreed to be her DOC part of the conversation should have been that it was her wedding present. Its a little hard to go back now and tell her its her present.
You could do something that is more effort than money. Like a bottle of wine with a nice note to her and telling her to drink it on their one year anniversary.
Post # 6
@lefeymw: well….. she kind of volunteered me herself to do DOC. so yeah, I can’t really call it a gift now.
Wine it is!
Post # 7
I think a card is totally sufficient and personally that’s all I would give her. I had a lot of guests only give me a shower present and skip the wedding present adn I honestly thought that was fine too. I mean, the madness has to end somewhere you know?
Post # 8
A card at least. But did she ask you to do these things or did you just do them? I mean you can’t be nice to people and then write it off as a gift…that’s a bit mean.
Post # 10
She would email me daily with questions and ask for help in researching things. I helped as time went on. Does that count as me just being nice? haha
Post # 11
A nice card will mean a lot
Post # 12
It sounds like she’s had a tough time with the wedding and could use your support. I’m guessing you’re reasonably close since she’s been relying on you when her BMs didn’t work out (which we don’t have the backstory to). Maybe wait until the wedding is over and give her a gift a week later or something. When you’re not exhausted with the wedding you might feel a little more generous. Being the DOC is definitely a gift in itself, so I think something smaller would be appropriate, and hopefully appreciated by her!
Post # 13
It sounds like you at one point offered to help and then the bride kinda just went with it. maybe she didn’t realize how much you were doing for her…Maybe ask her about it. If she asked you to be her DCO, then ask whether she would want that as a gift from you or to pay her.
a friend asked me to make her cake and that’s what I did and she said she’d rather pay me for the cake.
Post # 14
I thnk you still should get her a gift. Friends helping and advising friends is priceless.
Post # 15
I had one BM not give me any kind of gift…her and her hubby did SO much to help us and I feel like we are going to owe them forever 😀 She bought me my all-time favorite shower gift!! However, I would have really loved a card from them…I just thought it was a little weird. I wasn’t angry or hurt, because I realize how much they did to help us, again…just thought it was a little strange.