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One lesson I have learned while wedding planning... you can not change what a person does to you, but you can determine what your response will be.
I would try to be the bigger person and not make an issue about this. In 5 years will it really matter that much?
That's sort of inconsiderate of them to not figure out that your FI was engaged and I would probably be a bit annoyed. Not sure I wouldn't go though, unless he wasn't that close to them and not planning on going anyway.
It would annoy me too. A friend of mine got engaged last fall, wedding to be this August. We got engaged in April. I have talked to this friend multiple times about wedding planning etc, and she clearly knows we are engaged. She even knows my FI as we all worked together a few years ago. When she invited me to the wedding she invited me and guest. I find it strange.
short answer: you have a right to be annoyed.
long answer: you are a better person than your FI's uncle's fiancee...so, being the better person, try to let it go. You have so much going well for you...you're about to marry the man of your dreams. Don't let a possibly lazy, forgetful, inconsiderate person get you down. You're better than that...as your etiquette shows. Enjoy these last few months of planning; don't go if you don't feel like it; live like the better person you are.
Good Luck!
Nope. You have a right. I'd be annoyed but I'd roll my eyes and move on. It would also be one thing if it was his Aunt but since it's his uncle, I would cut them a little slack. The future aunt might be having a hard time getting information from him and/or might be too frazzled to go out of the way to get it from your FI's mom/dad. You know? Weddings are fun though and it will be a fun time with your FI.
When my aunt got married she and her bridesmaids addressed the invitations. One of the girls addressed mine, wasn't paying attention to the list and wrote TinyTina & Guest on the invitation. Obviously my aunt knows my SO's name (we've been together for 5 years!!)... When I got the invitation I called her to tease her (oh so I can bring whoever I want to the wedding?!) She apologized like a million times and said that one of her friends addressed it incorrectly. I know this probly isn't what happened in your case, but try not to let it get to you... You never know what happened!!
This happened to me and I was a little annoyed, considering I know the girl pretty well. The bride ended up actually emailing my FI to apologize about it (like, randomly out of the blue really, he hadn't even asked anything about it). She said that her invitation lady said it was not proper to put 2 unmarried people's name on it (Mr. XXX & Miss XXX), and that you just put whoever you know the best then and guest. She didn't really like the idea of it, but wanted to do what the lady said was "proper." Anyhow, maybe that's just what they thought the proper thing to do was.
I should mention they are coming to my wedding and already RSVPed, so I'm pretty sure they know my name.
Yeah i know... be the better person. I'll try. Go to know there are other brides that feel the same way.
This has happened to me too. It is really annoying! But not worth a second thought. Someone probably started to outline the family tree and didn't "know" that what they did was rude.
No excuses, it's just plain rude. Be the bigger person and make a note to not do that to one of your guests.
I was in a similar situation and was totally annoyed, so you're completely justified. My boyfriend of about 2 years (at the time) got a wedding invite addressed to him "& guest". Even though this guy had known my FI longer, I had actually worked with the groom for 3 years, so I'm pretty sure he knew my name. It was across the country, so we didn't go anyway, but I don't think my BF ever even returned the RSVP card. If my name had been on the invite, you can be sure that card would have been returned with a nice apologetic note.
Although I agree that it's not worth skipping the wedding or holding a grudge - but I feel you.
Yeah that's annoying especially since presumably they would have gotten your invitation BEFORE they sent theirs. They had no reason to not address it appropriately.
I've been there. I can't remember now who's wedding it was, but we got an invitation to a wedding for someone on his side. FI and I had been dating over a year and living together for a couple of months at that point. I was totally annoyed and pouted about it for a day or so. But eventually I got over it and now (at least 6 or 8 months later) I can't even remember who's wedding it was.
You totally have the right to be annoyed, but don't stress yourself out about it too much. If they're planning that quickly she might feel like she doesn't have time to be proper.
Wow, of all of the things to be annoyed by this would not be high up on my list. At least he invited you.
I think I'd be annoyed too, given the circumstances, but definitely be the bigger person. There could be many different reasons they put "& guest" so I wouldn't look too much into it. Like someone said, it's not going to matter in 5 years, maybe you'll even joke about it in the future!
I wouldn't give this a second thought. As the bride she has a million other things to think about and it was probably an accident. You don't HAVE to go to the wedding-but she probably wouldn't even put two and two together because the issue is actually so small. I would just forget about it and go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. She probably just wanted to get the invitations out ASAP.
I'm usually a optimist - could it be possible they outsourced their invites or had other people do it who didn't know your FI personally and in a pinch to get them mailed, didn't have time to ask what your name was?
I actually did this on purpose on all non-married couples, regardless of how long they had been with partner. It wasn't a slight on the significant other, but a purposeful decision to do it across the board. All guests had +1...I think unless the bride/groom are truly friends with both members of couple, I think +1 is fine. In fact, if they are really great friends with both, I would probably send an individual invitation to both.
Similar thing happened to me... only the invitation was addressed to my fiance. No "and guest", nothing! I know how you're feeling.
I wouldn't even given it a thought..i would just think that they people are lazy. You can get mad, but what is going to do really?
Go to the wedding..they are paying $$ for you to be there right? What better revenge is that.
In reality...the uncle/future aunt... probably just didn't think. They may have a ton of things going on in their lives and trying to make things go as fast as possible. I'm sure that you are pretty busy with things going on in your life and have unknowingly missed something and pissed someone off and they just didn't tell you.
Try to positively focus on something else.
Ummm this happened to me AFTER we were married. My husbands uncle and his fiance sent out invites last week, it' was addressed Mr OTB and guest. While they didn't come to our wedding, they were invited and we saw them a few days prior (they live out of town, and we were all in town for Christmas) and they gave us our gift etc. So, while I am annoyed, you just have to laugh it off.
I'd be annoyed. But don't let it bother you beyond an eye roll and maybe a little rant about it, people are dumb sometimes and don't consider the etiquette of invites and things like that.
I would be annoyed too, especially since they obviously know your name. However, I wouldn't let it ge to you. They probably didn't do it intentionally. Maybe they didn't know how to address an invitation to a non-married couple. Handle it with grace. If they made a mistake, no big whip. But if you make a stink about it, they might just think you're acting like a jerk, and not know why.
I'd be annoyed too! Something annoying happened to us too but I got over it. Some people just have no common sense.
Absolutely I would and have been annoyed by situations like this. Don't hold onto it! My BF and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 2. Honestly it makes me feel like people don't care and are just lazy. You full well know my name and if you don't know how to spell it correctly I know you have facebook or a phone and both can be used to aquire the required infromation. I wouldn't say anything but it would still bug the crap out of me.
This happened to me too. I was really annoyed b/c i've been friends w/ the bride for 3 yrs at the time she sent out her invites, rather close friends, we hang out a few times a week. My FI was one of her groomsmen and we had just gotten engaged a few months before AND had asked her to be in my bridal party!
I asked her about it and she said it was "proper" but then i bugged her until she admitted she didn't know how to spell my long Polish name and was too embarrassed to ask lol i told her i'd get her back when i sent out my invites which i did this week
" Mr. (his first and last name) & Mrs. GUEST (last name)"
i understand i'd be annoyed too about it...my bff sent me and my fiance an invite to her wedding in the fall and didn't even bother asking what his last name was so the invite read ms ashley my last name & thomas ugh
yes it sucks that ppl don't put forth the effort we do but all you can do is smile and nod i guess and let it go
If you weren't engaged and living together, I would say let your boyfriend accept the invitation and go without you: I certainly do not tolerate being treated as someone's accessory!
But since you are practically husband-and-wife, you pretty much have to accept or decline together. If it weren't a very close relative, I'd say decline. In fact, since it's two weeks after your own wedding you can always make the excuse that you are "just back from your honeymoon" and not in any position to be accepting demanding social engagements". That's a good excuse even if it is a close relative (and even if your "honeymoon" consists of spending the Sunday after your wedding night sleeping late -- that's your business and no-one needs to know what exactly "just back" really means)
But if it's important to your fiance to go, then go and be gracious. Your good relationship with him is the most important consideration.
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I just got an invitation for my fiance's uncle wedding and it was labled and guest.
They got engaged a few months ago and now getting married. I've been living with my fiance for almost 2 years and we've been engaged for almost a year. Their wedding is exactly 2 weeks after mine this September. I went out of my way to find out her name to make sure her name was on my wedding invitation and shes coming to my shower next weekend.
I'm trying not to be annoyed. But I am. Am I justified or is it just me? I feel since my name wasn't on it I don't have to go. I know its vindictive, but its really irritating me right now.