(Closed) Do I have a right to be annoyed?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

One lesson I have learned while wedding planning… you can not change what a person does to you, but you can determine what your response will be.  

I would try to be the bigger person and not make an issue about this.  In 5 years will it really matter that much?

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That’s sort of inconsiderate of them to not figure out that your FI was engaged and I would probably be a bit annoyed.  Not sure I wouldn’t go though, unless he wasn’t that close to them and not planning on going anyway.

Post # 5
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It would annoy me too.  A friend of mine got engaged last fall, wedding to be this August.  We got engaged in April.  I have talked to this friend multiple times about wedding planning etc, and she clearly knows we are engaged.  She even knows my FI as we all worked together a few years ago.  When she invited me to the wedding she invited me and guest.  I find it strange. 

Post # 6
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

short answer: you have a right to be annoyed.

long answer: you are a better person than your FI’s uncle’s fiancee…so, being the better person, try to let it go.  You have so much going well for you…you’re about to marry the man of your dreams.  Don’t let a possibly lazy, forgetful, inconsiderate person get you down.  You’re better than that…as your etiquette shows.  Enjoy these last few months of planning; don’t go if you don’t feel like it; live like the better person you are.

Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Nope.  You have a right.  I’d be annoyed but I’d roll my eyes and move on.  It would also be one thing if it was his Aunt but since it’s his uncle, I would cut them a little slack.  The future aunt might be having a hard time getting information from him and/or might be too frazzled to go out of the way to get it from your FI’s mom/dad.  You know?  Weddings are fun though and it will be a fun time with your FI.

Post # 8
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

When my aunt got married she and her bridesmaids addressed the invitations. One of the girls addressed mine, wasn’t paying attention to the list and wrote TinyTina & Guest on the invitation. Obviously my aunt knows my SO’s name (we’ve been together for 5 years!!)… When I got the invitation I called her to tease her (oh so I can bring whoever I want to the wedding?!) She apologized like a million times and said that one of her friends addressed it incorrectly. I know this probly isn’t what happened in your case, but try not to let it get to you… You never know what happened!!

Post # 9
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This happened to me and I was a little annoyed, considering I know the girl pretty well.  The bride ended up actually emailing my FI to apologize about it (like, randomly out of the blue really, he hadn’t even asked anything about it).  She said that her invitation lady said it was not proper to put 2 unmarried people’s name on it (Mr. XXX & Miss XXX), and that you just put whoever you know the best then and guest.  She didn’t really like the idea of it, but wanted to do what the lady said was “proper.”  Anyhow, maybe that’s just what they thought the proper thing to do was.

Post # 11
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This has happened to me too. It is really annoying! But not worth a second thought. Someone probably started to outline the family tree and didn’t “know” that what they did was rude.

No excuses, it’s just plain rude. Be the bigger person and make a note to not do that to one of your guests.

Post # 12
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was in a similar situation and was totally annoyed, so you’re completely justified. My boyfriend of about 2 years (at the time) got a wedding invite addressed to him “& guest”. Even though this guy had known my FI longer, I had actually worked with the groom for 3 years, so I’m pretty sure he knew my name. It was across the country, so we didn’t go anyway, but I don’t think my BF ever even returned the RSVP card. If my name had been on the invite, you can be sure that card would have been returned with a nice apologetic note.

Although I agree that it’s not worth skipping the wedding or holding a grudge – but I feel you.

Post # 13
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah that’s annoying especially since presumably they would have gotten your invitation BEFORE they sent theirs. They had no reason to not address it appropriately.

Post # 14
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’ve been there.  I can’t remember now who’s wedding it was, but we got an invitation to a wedding for someone on his side.  FI and I had been dating over a year and living together for a couple of months at that point.  I was totally annoyed and pouted about it for a day or so.  But eventually I got over it and now (at least 6 or 8 months later) I can’t even remember who’s wedding it was.

You totally have the right to be annoyed, but don’t stress yourself out about it too much.  If they’re planning that quickly she might feel like she doesn’t have time to be proper.

Post # 15
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, of all of the things to be annoyed by this would not be high up on my list. At least he invited you.

Post # 16
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think I’d be annoyed too, given the circumstances, but definitely be the bigger person.  There could be many different reasons they put “& guest” so I wouldn’t look too much into it.  Like someone said, it’s not going to matter in 5 years, maybe you’ll even joke about it in the future!

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