Do I have a right to be mad at my SO's mother?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you need to get over yourself…. You are reading WAYYYY more into that than I’m sure there is…. 

Post # 4
8678 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’re being too sensitive. The situation she was in was a lose/lose. There may have been other factors relating to her choosing this weekend, and simply not, “Yes, lets choose this weekend that way Stranger516 won’t be able to attend! This is brilliant!”

You’re entitled to be upset about not being able to go, but unless you have a reason to believe that she did this purely because she likes you less/doesn’t see you as family/doesn’t care about you/whatever, just assume you got the short end of the stick.

Post # 5
8850 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Since there are a billion other people traveling for this get-together, is there a chance that more people were factored into the decision that just you and SIL?  I would think so. I wouldn’t take it personally in terms of you vs. SIL.

Post # 6
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think it’s normal for you to be hurt, but in this case, you have to let it go. It does seem like she chose her daughter in law, but either way, one of you was going to get hurt. I think she made the right choice…because how would you feel if you were MARRIED into the family and the mother in law chose the girlfriend instead? It’s not like she did this to purposely hurt you, but a choice had to be made. Sorry 🙁


Post # 7
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Stranger516:  You are being too sensitive. She had to pick a weekend. It wouldn’t have been fair to your FSIL if she picked next weekend. It’s not fair to you if she picks this weekend. Whatever. It had to happen, there was nothing that worked for everyone. For all you know, there were other factors at play as well. Maybe, given both weekends sucking equally because her son’s SO’s couldn’t both make it, she simply picked the weekend that got it over with first. Maybe the weather report is better. Maybe the brother had a party he might kinda want to go to at his buddy’s house next weekend. 

Post # 8
30 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

There could be a variety of reasons why that weekend worked out better. Looking at it you vs. Her I could see feeling looked over but I really, really doubt it’s because of that, don’t read into it too much and enjoy the time you get to spend with them when you’re off work 🙂

Post # 9
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Well geez she had to pick one or the other, so that’s a hard spot to be in. You said it was her “new daughter in law” so maybe it’s more that she’s more comfortable with you and that’s why she chose to do it on the weekend you worked, or maybe she thought you would be more understanding and wasn’t sure how the new daughter inlaw would take it.

Either way, I would not be that offended about it. Unless there is some other reason you think she is being rude on purpose.

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