Post # 1
My SO’s brother just graduated from college and his sister’s boyfriend from overseas is going to be visiting for a while. SO’s mother wants to have everyone over to celebrate the graduation and to give everyone a chance to meet the sisters boyriend from overseas.
There are many family members on his side and his mother was trying to find a date where everyone would be availale. It came down between either this weekend or next weekend.
This weekend, I work. Next weekend, her new daughter in law (my SO’s brothers wife) works. So she had to either pick THIS weekend or NEXT. Well, she picked this weekend for the get-together which basically means she cares more if her new daughter in law goes than if I go.
This really REALLY offended me. They are having family all the way from CALIFORNIA come this weekend and every single member of his family will be there. It really offends me that she obviously chose her over me. I guess it is because I am not really a member of the family after all. I am pretty hurt by it…..
maybe it’s just me being too sensitive, or am I?
Post # 3
I think you need to get over yourself…. You are reading WAYYYY more into that than I’m sure there is….
Post # 4
You’re being too sensitive. The situation she was in was a lose/lose. There may have been other factors relating to her choosing this weekend, and simply not, “Yes, lets choose this weekend that way Stranger516 won’t be able to attend! This is brilliant!”
You’re entitled to be upset about not being able to go, but unless you have a reason to believe that she did this purely because she likes you less/doesn’t see you as family/doesn’t care about you/whatever, just assume you got the short end of the stick.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Since there are a billion other people traveling for this get-together, is there a chance that more people were factored into the decision that just you and SIL? I would think so. I wouldn’t take it personally in terms of you vs. SIL.
Post # 6
I think it’s normal for you to be hurt, but in this case, you have to let it go. It does seem like she chose her daughter in law, but either way, one of you was going to get hurt. I think she made the right choice…because how would you feel if you were MARRIED into the family and the mother in law chose the girlfriend instead? It’s not like she did this to purposely hurt you, but a choice had to be made. Sorry 🙁
Post # 7
@Stranger516: You are being too sensitive. She had to pick a weekend. It wouldn’t have been fair to your FSIL if she picked next weekend. It’s not fair to you if she picks this weekend. Whatever. It had to happen, there was nothing that worked for everyone. For all you know, there were other factors at play as well. Maybe, given both weekends sucking equally because her son’s SO’s couldn’t both make it, she simply picked the weekend that got it over with first. Maybe the weather report is better. Maybe the brother had a party he might kinda want to go to at his buddy’s house next weekend.
Post # 8
There could be a variety of reasons why that weekend worked out better. Looking at it you vs. Her I could see feeling looked over but I really, really doubt it’s because of that, don’t read into it too much and enjoy the time you get to spend with them when you’re off work 🙂
Post # 9
Well geez she had to pick one or the other, so that’s a hard spot to be in. You said it was her “new daughter in law” so maybe it’s more that she’s more comfortable with you and that’s why she chose to do it on the weekend you worked, or maybe she thought you would be more understanding and wasn’t sure how the new daughter inlaw would take it.
Either way, I would not be that offended about it. Unless there is some other reason you think she is being rude on purpose.
Post # 10
Thanks all for responding!!
I guess I get offended very easily, especially b/c sometimes she has done things in the past that made me feel pretty unimportant. Like on Thanksgiving she told me dinner started at 5 and so I left my family early to spend thanksgiving dinner with them and by the time I got there everyone had already eaten and she said it was because she didnt want to make people wait… MEANWHILE I GOT THERE AT 4:30 AND SHE TOLD ME IT WAS AT 5…
I guess I did overreact a bit about this one though.