Do I have to give her a plus-one?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m going to respond to the question you didn’t ask and say you don’t have to invite her.  You would rather her not come.  Why waste any more time or money thinking about this if you don’t want her there?  Don’t beat yourself up about not being friends with someone when it seems that you both have outgrown and moved on from the friendship.  To answer your actual question- she is not married and therefore does not need a plus-one if you do invite her. 

 

Post # 4
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

if you dont want her to come, then dont invite her. Understand however that your friendship will most likely be done for good.

Post # 5
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with PP.  It seems silly to invite her.  You’re. Not. Friends. Anymore.

Post # 6
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Doesn’t seem like she would be all that interested to come herself , to be honest.

Post # 7
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@MissKit:  Yeah, I’m in the “don’t invite her” camp. While she basically forced you into taking the first step, she was really the one who ended the friendship.

If you DO invite her, yes, I would give her a plus one simply because the 2 people she knows arent likely to come and the other BMs probably aren’t feeling super friendly to her now. The only single person I’m giving a +1 to is someone who probably won’t really know anyone else. It just seems crule to me to make them sit alone. Honestly, if you do invite her without a +1 she’s very unlikely to go anyway. 

Post # 8
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

She pretty much forced you into asking her to step down by ignoring you so why would you feel obliged to invite her at all? So you were friends for years? You aren’t now! You don’t want her there! (Let alone with someone else)

 

I have lots of people (aquaintances, friends even former family) that are not getting invited to my wedding. Unless you are a CURRENT person in my life that SUPPORTS my relationship then I’m not obliged in the slightest.

 

Post # 9
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Why on earth would you invite her?

 

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MissKit:  You don’t talk to her and have no desire to see her. You had to ask her to step down from being your BM. I would say that you don’t invite her at all, let alone give her a +1.

Post # 12
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@whoa_its_ash:  +1

1. She probably doesnt want to come.

2. If it were me and you invited me but didnt give me a +1, I wouldnt come anyways. So there’s always that option.

Post # 13
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You don’t have to invite her. If you do invite her you are under NO obligation according to etiquette to invite a +1 for her unless she’s married, engaged or living with a romantic partner.  

Post # 14
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think the fact that you guys ended this like adults you should send her an invitation. Do NOT include a plus one!  Whether she comes or not just let it go.

Post # 15
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Suck it up, give her a +1, let her enjoy your celebration and allow the friendship to fade away amicably

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