Post # 1
So one of the groomsmen in my wedding is a little… Wild. He is always involved with the wrong people. I’ve known him for years and like him but he always gets himself into trouble so I try to stay away from him. (FI really wanted him in the wedding because their families used to be very close) Even my brother thinks he’s crazy!
So here’s my problem. He doesn’t have a girlfriend but he does talk to this one girl a lot – and I don’t really like her. Do I have to invite him with a date?? My mom thinks it’s rude because he’s in the wedding. What do you think? I really would be bothered if he brought her – And im almost positive he will try to. Any thoughts on how to handle this?
Post # 3
I think bridal party members should be given a plus one. Sorry.
Post # 4
It’s really rude not to give your bridal party a plus one.
Post # 5
Are you having a head table or a sweetheart table. I could see getting away with it if you have a head table, cause you don’t really sit with your +1.
Post # 6
Wedding party should always have a plus one.
Post # 7
If you are giving the rest of your bridal party a +1 than yes you should give him a +1…..you never know maybe he won’t bring anyone at all. If he invites a +1 you have control over seating (if you are doing a seating chart) so you could place her at a table a bit farther away. I have gone to a few weddings and just from looking around I’ve noticed that the bride is usually at the head table, interacting/greeting guests if no receiving line, or on the dance floor. The last wedding I went to I barely even spoke to the bride because she was busy.
Post # 8
@HisIrishPrincess: I totally agree.
Would his +1 be sitting with him or sitting alone? If she’d be alone, I’d say you probably don’t need to invite her. If you’re not having a head table then you probably should give him a +1.
I went to a wedding with my FI when we had only been dating a few months, and he was the best man. It was really awkward because I didn’t know ANYONE (I had met the groom once, and never met the bride). I ended up sitting at the table with the randoms, while he was at the head table.
The only difference is that we were actually dating. If I had just been his friend or something, I don’t think I would’ve gone. It would have been even more awkward than it already was.
Post # 9
My sister had been with her BF for 6 years when we got married, and he wasn’t invited to the wedding. She was my MOH, and totally fine with him not being there, since she was busy anyway!
Post # 10
@RubyStar: I never quite got why the bridal party gets plus ones (if they wouldn’t already). I mean, wouldn’t it be horribly awkward to attend a wedding and literally not know anyone other than your date, who has a million obligations other than hanging out with you?
I’m only giving my bridal party plus ones if they are in serious relationships.
Post # 11
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Your Mom is right…
According to “Traditional” Etiquette your Nearest & Dearest (Siblings & Bridal Party) over the age of 18 all get PLUS ONES.
It is a polite courtesy / perk of their giving their time & energy to your Day (putting you first in their lives)
It means they get to spend their “downtime” on the Weekend with whomever they choose to… be that their Spouse / Fiancée / SO / GF… Date they ask specifically to the event… even if she is a “random”… or even their Sister or Mother if that is who they’d like to bring along to spend the weekend with. You are to GRACIOUSLY oblige, and not judge.
Modern Etiquette… is not as kind on this point.
It figures that Bridal Parties are just Guests… and so you can divy out the Invites… Plus Ones or not… as you see fit
Infact, Modern Etiquette IMO really gives the Bridal Party Members “the shaft”… not how I’d ever want to treat my Besties… it really is embarassing !!
Post # 12
The only thing I have to say is this. Your wedding is 10 months away – that is a long time for him to settle in with a girlfriend and be in a significant relationship.
My FI was asked to be in a wedding once but the invitation was not extended to me simply because they did not care for me (they didn’t even get to know me). He ended up declining and not being in the wedding because he was very insulted that he was expected to go alone.
If you care about him being involved I would extend the +1 invitation because you don’t know who he’ll bring if anyone and I wouldn’t risk the insult to him. If he is important enough to be in the wedding he should be allowed to bring someone with him.
@Polygon: Just to comment, I only ever have seen the bridal party busy during the ceremony and just before/after it. During the reception there is socializing and dancing and they aren’t really responsible for doing anything but celebrating at that point. By not giving them a +1 they have no date for the reception once they are available.
Post # 13
thanks for the input! For those who asked we are having a sweetheart table. The girl he could possibly bring will actually know some people there.
I really hope this works out!..
Post # 14
@JessicaJupiter: Ugh yeah that’s not right, they didn’t even get to know you! Tha means they had no reason to not like/invite you! This girl isn’t a random girl, I do know her. sucky situation.
@This Time Round: Thanks for the response, you really know your stuff! 🙂
Post # 15
@BrandNewBride: ? Can I ask what the logic there was?
Post # 16
@RubyStar: I think it’s probably a little rude to not give him a plus one, but I’m also not going to tell you you have to. I”m really hoping that FH’s best man doesn’t bring a date – thankfully because he’ll be driving 14 hours to get here it’s unlikely. He’s almost 31 and generally dates girls who are 10 years younger and want to party all.the.time and are dumb and annoying and everything steryotypical pretty college freshman in movies are. I really don’t want some random dumb girl at our 75 person wedding but it is what it is. We’re not explicitly stating ‘& Guest’ on the invitation, but we’re not going to kick up a stink if he brings someone (same rule for everyone)