(Closed) do I HAVE to invite his GF?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nope you dont need to invite her… 1. you have never met her 2. they have been together only a short amount of time 3.shes a rude biatch lol

Post # 4
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Were you going to give him a +1 prior to the news about his GF?  Based on the rules you listed, it didn’t sound like it….. plus, hopefully in 4 months, he’ll come to his senses, so it won’t even be an issue 😉

Post # 5
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t invite her. If they end up staying together and your friend makes a fuss about his girlfriend not being invited, you can always revisit the situation. But once she’s invited, you can’t really take it back.

Post # 6
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is this guy in the same group of friends that all have long-term relationships?  If so, I think you have to invite her.  Even though the others have been together longer, I think it would sort of single him out.

If he is in a different group of friends and there are single friends in that group, then I think you could get away with not inviting her.

Hope that makes sense 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I would say you can definitely get away with not inviting her. If it would give you peace of mind, maybe you could suggest a get together with all your friends to see if she is really as bad as she sounded (in which case you really shouldn’t invite her) or see if she is better than your friends thought (in which case you can invite her and not have it looming in the back of your mind). Like you said, you have time, if you meet her you can get your own vibe and know what you want to do for sure.

Post # 9
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t, and if it comes up I would tell him flat out, “Sorry, the only people who got plus one’s where those who are traveling so they don’t have to travel alone and those who are in a long term relationship. I’m really happy for you, but when we set the guest list we didn’t know about _____, so we didn’t account for her. Unfortunately, we had to set some boundaries and at this point it’s too late to change them.” If he pushes it just say, “I’m really sorry, but we can’t make exceptions, we want to keep it fair to everyone.” 

 

Post # 10
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you can get away with not inviting her. You’ve never met her, and he hasn’t exactly come out and told you that he has a new girlfriend. So, if he wasn’t getting a plus one before, I don’t think he should get one now. Who knows, they might not even be together that long, and then he might bring another total stranger to your wedding. My vote is no plus one.

Post # 11
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She would not be invited if it were me.  My rules are living together, engaged or married.  End of story.

Post # 12
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

nope…don’t invite her. it’s your wedding, your way

Post # 13
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t send her a separate invite. Just “and guest” your friend. That is proper etiquette, even if you do know the girlfriend, but only through your friend. You of course are not obligated to invite her, or “and guest” your friend. However, if he is a part of a coupled up group of friends you have, it would certainly be courteous to “and guest” him. If they are together in four months, he can choose to bring her or not. If they are broken up, he can choose to bring another guest. 

Post # 13
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t send her a separate invite. Just “and guest” your friend. That is proper etiquette, even if you do know the girlfriend, but only through your friend. You of course are not obligated to invite her, or “and guest” your friend. However, if he is a part of a coupled up group of friends you have, it would certainly be courteous to “and guest” him. If they are together in four months, he can choose to bring her or not. If they are broken up, he can choose to bring another guest. 

Post # 14
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should give him an “and guest”, especially because he is a part of the group of friends you’re inviting that all are in long term relationships and will be allowed to bring their SOs.  Also, it really isn’t your right to deem his gf not worthy of an invite just because of some supposed gossip you heard about through the grapevine.

Post # 15
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

She wasn’t asking if she should send a separate invite… she’s never even met the girl for goodness’ sake! 😛 I think if he asks why you didn’t include a guest in his invitation, you can simply play that card and say, “Oh, well I didn’t even know you were dating anyone! We don’t have room to allow everyone a +1 guest, so all the single friends and family members were invited solo.”

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