- 9 years ago
The wedding is not too far off and I have a dilemma! We have already had many friends and relatives who wanted to bring their boyfriends/girlfriends, so we made a "blanket rule" that we would only invite those others if the couple had been dating for more than a year or were engaged or living together by the time the wedding rolls around. We were only trying to be fair (fair to everybody and fair to us since we are strapped for cash and venue space and we are paying for the whole thing ourselves). We had to leave out many relatives for space and budget (tear)!
My mom is already upset that we can’t invite all of her relatives (if there are any filipinos out there, you know how many people that means lol!)
My fiance’s sister and my bridesmaid assumed that she could bring her (new) boyfriend to our wedding 2 months ago when she was visiting. She did manage to mention it to us (while he was on the phone), but we had to tell her no since they just started dating and it wouldn’t be fair to the other guests. She got a little miffed (understandably), but my fiance and I were very firm.
We’re having small wedding (originally 60 people but we had to go to 80 to accommodate out of the country guests. We are officially overbudget!). Our venue can sit up to 100 people, but really it’s about 75 ‘comfortably.’ Basically, it’s a little house with a side yard on a small golfcourse/vineyard.
Well, she has announced that she is bringing him anyway (they are out of state) and he is staying with her at her parents house where we are also holding the rehearsal dinner (this is why it suddenly became a bigger deal). Awkward! While she says she knows he can’t come to the wedding, she is also saying that she doesn’t want to leave him all alone in a city where he doesn’t know anyone and he’ll be lonely, etc. Since she’s a bridesmaid, this tends to come up often.
So far we’ve stood firm, but I wanted to know if we should invite him to the wedding since he’s staying at her parents house? I don’t want to be a mean person, but I’m starting to feel a little miffed and bullied myself. My fiance (her brother) and I didn’t put her boyfriend into that position, she did. They did not have plane tickets purchased when she first told us and could have easily had him arrive the day after the wedding (they are staying for 2 weeks afterwards and the airport they are very near to is a hub).
Still, if ettiqute says I should invite him, I must oblige. I don’t always understand it, but I would hate to be rude. 😛
Whew. I thought I was over the guest list hurdle when I finally convinced my mother that just because we can’t invite ALL of her relatives (again, no space and we’re paying for it), that doesn’t mean that NONE of them can come and the she "isn’t allowed to enjoy herself." Seriously, she said that! lol It’s all gravy with her now, so something else had to come up! 🙂