Post # 1
I know this is a touchy subject but the events leading up to our wedding have really come into play with making my decision.
We have told my FH sister that her bf (Lets call him STAN) is no longer invited to our destination wedding. My FH & Future in-laws are 100% behind me on my decision, as well as everyone in my wedding party.
During our Jack & Jill party “STAN” started a fist fight with one of my guests, no one was hurt thankfully but there was damage done to serveral walls at our party location. STAN and my future Sister in law are constintly fighting at any occassion that includes booze and people, weddings, family gatherins/dinners, etc, as well as STAN trying to fight my future father in law on another occasion.
I have told Future sis in law that I am not taking any chances in having him ruining my wedding day by starting a fight with on of my guests. She keeps asking for another chance for them to prove themselves but I am trying to stick to my instincts as history keeps repeating itself with these two.
Am I wrong? Should I stick with my desicion??
Ugh – this is supposed to be a fun time right???
Post # 3
@lapt562: I would tell her no way no how. He sounds like he has anger/drinking issues and in my experience, people like that are completely unpredictable at social events.
Post # 4
@lapt562: Nope. Don’t invite him.
I have the same situation with my OWN SISTER! Her BF has fought with me, cursed me out, disrespected my mother and my FI. So my sister is not allowed to bring him as her guest.
Its your wedding. Invite who YOU and YOUR FI want, and its obvious you and him and fam don’t want him
Post # 5
@lapt562: if not for your OWN EXPERIENCES, I would say that it’s unfair if you don’t invite him.
However, since you have seen this with your own eyes and had to deal with the repurcussions, which I’m sure were emotional, mental, and financial… it is absolutely within your right to rescind his invitation, and doing so is in everyone’s best interests!
Post # 6
@lapt562: You don’t have to invite anyone. It depends on what you are willing to deal with. If you’ve already made the decision and everyone backs you up, then I see no reason to change it. It sounds to me like the decision was made for very valid reasons.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@lapt562: Stick with your decision, especially since your FI and his family support it. Tell her she is most welcome at the wedding but due to Stan’s behavior, he is not invited nor welcome to attend the wedding. I would also probably recommend that she assist him in seeking treatment for his drinking and anger issues and that maybe with some time and successful treatment along with a change in behavior, he will be re-accepted by the family.
Post # 8
I’m normally inclined to say you should give in to keep the peace. But in this case I’ll say “Hell No”
Post # 9
No, you don’t have to and if I were you I wouldn’t back down on my original decision. You have very valid reasons for not wanting him in attendance.
Post # 10
Stick to your guns. I was in a similar situation and made sure that other person was NOT invited and there to potentially mess up my day. Not worth the risk and if you have people who have your back, even more justification.
Post # 11
Stick to your guns but be prepared if she decides not to come. You are in the right here.
Post # 12
@lapt562: No, he basically ruined your jack and Jill. If he couldn’t keep it together there imagine how he will be in an all -inclusive destination. Ugh.
@iammcdibble: agreed, I like to forgive, but not in this instance.
Post # 13
@lapt562: There is no way he should be invited. I would say no to a local wedding, but it’s an even bigger no because it’s a Destination Wedding. He doesn’t need to ruin everyone’s vacations or your wedding day. It would be too hard to send him home if he got out of line, so no no no!
Post # 14
I agree, say no. Fiance should make it clear to sister that eveyone loves her. I suspect this guy is not a joy to deal with privately either.
A friend of mine has a mom with a drinking problem. Mom sat down with friend and discussed, help me stay away from booze. I can not have one drink. Friend spoke to hotel, they arranged that the mother would wear a certain flower and all wait staff would discretely serve her non-alchoholic wine. The sister of friend also agreed not to drink, and would stay with the mom every minute. The point was, the mom was accepting of her problem and did her best to minimize it.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I wouldn’t invite him. Sounds like he has a ton of anger issues.