Do I have to invite my future sister in laws bf to my destination wedding??

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@lapt562:  I would tell her no way no how. He sounds like he has anger/drinking issues and in my experience, people like that are completely unpredictable at social events.

Post # 4
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lapt562:  Nope. Don’t invite him.

 

I have the same situation with my OWN SISTER! Her BF has fought with me, cursed me out, disrespected my mother and my FI. So my sister is not allowed to bring him as her guest.

Its your wedding. Invite who YOU and YOUR FI want, and its obvious you and him and fam don’t want him

Post # 5
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@lapt562:  if not for your OWN EXPERIENCES, I would say that it’s unfair if you don’t invite him.

However, since you have seen this with your own eyes and had to deal with the repurcussions, which I’m sure were emotional, mental, and financial… it is absolutely within your right to rescind his invitation, and doing so is in everyone’s best interests!

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@lapt562:  You don’t have to invite anyone. It depends on what you are willing to deal with. If you’ve already made the decision and everyone backs you up, then I see no reason to change it. It sounds to me like the decision was made for very valid reasons.

Post # 7
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@lapt562:  Stick with your decision, especially since your FI and his family support it.  Tell her she is most welcome at the wedding but due to Stan’s behavior, he is not invited nor welcome to attend the wedding.  I would also probably recommend that she assist him in seeking treatment for his drinking and anger issues and that maybe with some time and successful treatment along with a change in behavior, he will be re-accepted by the family.

Post # 8
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m normally inclined to say you should give in to keep the peace. But in this case I’ll say “Hell No” 

Post # 9
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

No, you don’t have to and if I were you I wouldn’t back down on my original decision. You have very valid reasons for not wanting him in attendance.

Post # 10
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Stick to your guns. I was in a similar situation and made sure that other person was NOT invited and there to potentially mess up my day. Not worth the risk and if you have people who have your back, even more justification.

Post # 11
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Stick to your guns but be prepared if she decides not to come. You are in the right here.

Post # 12
Member
868 posts
Busy bee

@lapt562:  No, he basically ruined your jack and Jill. If he couldn’t keep it together there imagine how he will be in an all -inclusive destination. Ugh. 

@iammcdibble:  agreed, I like to forgive, but not in this instance. 

Post # 13
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

@lapt562:  There is no way he should be invited.  I would say no to a local wedding, but it’s an even bigger no because it’s a Destination Wedding.  He doesn’t need to ruin everyone’s vacations or your wedding day.  It would be too hard to send him home if he got out of line, so no no no!

Post # 14
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree, say no.  Fiance should make it clear to sister that eveyone loves her.  I suspect this guy is not a joy to deal with privately either.

 

A friend of mine has a mom with a drinking problem.  Mom sat down with friend and discussed, help me stay away from booze.  I can not have one drink.  Friend spoke to hotel, they arranged that the mother would wear a certain flower and all wait staff would discretely serve her non-alchoholic wine.  The sister of friend also agreed not to drink, and would stay with the mom every minute.  The point was, the mom was accepting of her problem and did her best to minimize it.

 

Post # 15
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I wouldn’t invite him. Sounds like he has a ton of anger issues.

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